Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

EPILOGUE

BOOK ONE SNEAK PEEK:

~FINDING YESTERDAY~

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Copyright © 2021 Terra Weiss. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including digital storage & retrieval systems, without written permission from the author.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, specific locations, and any incidents are either imaginary or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is coincidental.

Published by Autumn Sky Books.

Cover by Terra Weiss.

Editing Services by Happily Editing Anns.

TerraWeiss.com

CHAPTER ONE

“IT’S HIM.” PHYLLIS, my vet assistant, busts into the exam room.

“Who?” My eyes bulge as I readjust Hammy, the teacup pig I’m cradling. Today, my animal rescue clinic, Born Wild, is a bit of a zoo. Literally.

Phyllis folds her arms. “He whose name shall not be spoken.”

“Jay?”

“How dare he show his face here.” She leans to peek out the window. “And in that fancy sports car too.”

I don’t have time for this. Growing up, Jay was one of my best friends, but we haven’t spoken since he left me, Phyllis, and Born Wild in a lurch two years ago. Now he thinks he can just show up here?

“Let him have it.” Phyllis pats her graying bun as she turns to leave.

Before she can, Jay pops his head in. “Hey, Cass, Phyllis.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, and Hammy lets out a snort.

“I moved back.” Jay scrubs his goatee, stepping inside.

Moved? I can’t imagine why he’d ever come back to Danesworth. He loves his job as the veterinarian of the stars in Atlanta.

Phyllis puts her palms in the air. “There isn’t room in here for me and Jay’s ego—I’m out.”

Jay flashes her a frown before looking back at me. “I was hoping we could go get a coffee? Catch up?”

“Nope.” I pull Hammy closer.

Jay’s face twists. “You’re really still furious at me?”

“Of course I’m still furious! You turned our whole lives upside down.” My face burns. We couldn’t accommodate the growing number of injured and orphaned wildlife, and The Georgia Animal Foundation was ready to fund our expansion. That was until Jay—the board chair—cast the deciding vote against it.

Jay looks around. “The place looks great now.”

“Yeah, no thanks to you.”

“Look, I’m sorry—”

“The town came together to make this happen.” Juggling Hammy, I wave my free arm around the exam room, showing Jay what he didn’t pay for.

“I’m sorry, Cass, really.” His tone is soft. “But I was under so much pressure. At the time, opening a second Palatial Pet Hospital was more critical.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Atlanta needed another one of those.” I went to his clinic. Once. It was sleek—stainless steel everything—and had a saltwater fish tank built into the wall of the waiting room. That infuriated me. Veterinarians caging wild sea life for decor? Please. I left before Jay and I could talk.

“My hands were tied,” he continues. “We’d gotten overcrowded after landing a celebrity patient. It was a pressure cooker situation. I can’t identify the parent, but the dog’s name was Gold Digger. Ring a bell?”

I blink. “You’re yanking my chain, right?”

A loud squeak coming from outside the room stops us both. I glance out the window and suppress a gasp. Phyllis—who’s supposed to be managing the front desk—is squeegeeing the windows. Her bun is tucked into a blue cap, she’s wearing sunglasses, and she’s ditched her lab coat, but I can still tell it’s her. I hope Jay can’t. When we make eye contact, she mouths, “Stay strong.” My eyes go wide and I try to give her the “cut” signal, but she’s on a mission. That’s Phyllis. She’s now using her finger to draw something into the grime. It looks like maybe a flipped middle finger? Or is it a penis?

It doesn’t matter because squeeeeak, it’s gone.

When I return my gaze to Jay, a puzzled expression has taken over his face, but I plunge on. “Why are you here, Jay?”

“Actually, I go by Jason now.”

I scowl. “What happened to you?” Growing up, Jay and I were both passionate about rescuing animals, not money and power. When he became a hot shot vet in the big city and got elected to the board of the Georgia Animal Foundation, he changed.

Instead of answering me, the corners of his mouth lift, and I can’t tell if he’s patronizing me or not. My blood boils, regardless. Finally, he says, “I thought you’d forgiven me. I know you came to my vet hospital. All the way from Danesworth—just to see me.”

“Careful, Jason. If your head gets any bigger, it won’t fit inside your teeny little Porsche.”

He feigns a smile. “You always were a funny one.”

Squeeeak from the window.

Then, before I can reply, Hammy flies out of my arms. “Hammy!” The pig lands on the floor with a splat. Then he runs in place on the slick tile before getting enough traction to scramble over to Jay.

Jay squats and Hammy leaps into his arms like he and Jay are BFFs.

“Hammy!” I yell again. Shaking my head, I say, “He’s never done that before. Well, not without food involved.”

Jay stands and gives Hammy a good head scrub. “You’re a handsome little fellow, yeah.” Hammy sticks his snout in the air and lets out a gleeful snort.

I beckon Hammy with my hand like he’ll pick up that subtle human cue. Which, of course, he doesn’t. “Get over here,” I scold in a whisper. The pig doesn’t budge. “Let me just take him.” I approach Hammy and wrap my arms around the porky traitor. Hammy burrows into Jay’s chest, forcing me to go in deeper. Jay and I end up entwined in a Twister-like embrace around the animal. We’re so close that I can smell Jay’s woodsy scent and see the flecks of sky in his eyes. It’s distracting. And completely awkward.

Squeeeeeeak goes the window.

Jay tries to dump Hammy into my arms, and the pig fights so hard that he almost falls. I go in closer to catch him, and Jay and I end up nose-to-nose. My cheeks flush and I mumble, “I’m a…sorry. I mean, I am sorry.”

Jay leans into my ear and whispers, “Hammy doesn’t seem to think I’m so bad.”

I meet his gaze again, narrowing my eyes. “He just knows another pig when he sees one.”

It’s impossible to believe I’m having this conversation with Jay. I still think of him as my best friend’s little brother, the kid I gave too many atomic wedgies to count.

Instead of looking insulted, Jay seems to be fighting back a smile. “I’d say I’d have approved your funding when pigs fly, but that one’s apparently off the table.”

“Ohh, now who’s the funny one?”

Jay pats Hammy and says, “Come on, tough guy. Your foster mom needs you.”

Hammy jumps back into one of my arms. I pull away and smooth my lab coat with my free hand. “So, what does Jenny think about you moving back?” Jenny is Jay’s sister, and she and I were inseparable growing up. We lost touch when she got mixed up with drugs, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m always thinking about her.

The fire in Jay’s eyes snuffs out, and he lowers his head. “About Jenny. She’s…” He clears his throat. “She’s going through a rough patch.”

“Oh.” The wind of indignation is knocked out of me. Last I’d heard, Jenny was out of rehab and doing well. Maybe not anymore? “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” He shifts from one foot to another. “So how did you get Hammy?” he asks hastily, reaching over and scratching Hammy’s three chin hairs.

“Surrendered,” I mumble, still trying to process the news about Jenny. “Like most designer pigs when people realize they aren’t actually dogs.”

“Ugh, that kills me.”

A whole cage of birds starts squawking, so I call out, “Just a minute, guys. Lunch is soon.”

Jay shakes his head, looking around before flashing me a genuine smile. “You haven’t changed—always trying to save everything. You know that’s not possible, right? Even for you?”

He might have a point there, but I’m not admitting that. I meet his gaze to see his blue eyes twinkle, which makes my breath catch. I can’t let him get to me like this. “As much as I’m enjoying this stroll down memory lane, let’s get to it. What do you want?”

“Why do I have to want something? Maybe I just came to see you.”

I tilt my head. “Did you?”

He glances to the floor. “No.” As he fumbles for words, a little girl pops her head in and says, “Sorry. I know I’m supposed to stay outside and finish my coloring book.” Her pigtails are blond, just like Jay’s, and she has his button nose. My eyes bulge—I had no idea he had a daughter. The adorable girl continues, “But I’m getting hungry.”

“Sure, Henna, I’m almost ready.”

“Okay.” She closes the door.

My voice is low. “I didn’t know—”

“She’s not mine, she’s Jenny’s. I’m taking care of her for a while.”

“Oh.” I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t verbally spar with Jay anymore. I’d heard Jenny had a little girl, but they live in Chicago. Or they did. And for some reason, Jenny can’t take care of her daughter right now.

Jay’s face twists in pain, and he fumbles out, “I better go. But can you get away from the clinic tomorrow evening? Please?”

I don’t want to help Jay with anything, but I can’t say no if it involves Jenny. “Okay.” Then I watch in stunned silence as he walks out the door.

CHAPTER TWO

I’M AT A place I haven’t been to in over ten years—the lookout cliff behind Jay and Jenny’s parents’ house. It was my favorite hangout spot when Jenny and I were kids, but I stopped coming here when she and I drifted apart.

My worries about Jenny skyrocketed when Jay texted me last night and asked me to meet him here of all places. This can’t be good.

Jenny and I had countless tent sleepovers in this very yard. I desperately hope she’s okay.

The views of this place are incredible. Right now, the lights of downtown Danesworth sprinkle glowing yellow orbs in the dimming sky. In daylight, our small town is so charming, even from a distance, with its bricked businesses lining Main Street. The old water tower is even pretty. Jenny painted a mural that matches the scene behind it—mountains and rolling vineyards stretching on as far as the eye can see.

She and I used to race to this ledge, especially now, approaching dusk. It’s the best place on earth to view a sunset.

When I finally maneuver up the rocky zigzagged trail, I step through the clearing in the trees. The mountain breeze hits, and I zip my Patagonia all the way up.

I’m shocked at what I find. Jay and Jenny are both here. Jay is sitting on the lopsided pine chair he made by hand and Jenny sits on the big rock, the one she and I would spend hours on. It’s a front-row seat to nature’s show—the canyon and river below during the day and the sky above at dusk. Right now, a northern cardinal perches on a branch of a magnolia tree, and its red feathers stun against the green leaves.

Just the sight of Jenny makes something lodge in my throat. Approaching, I notice that Jay’s shoulders are broader than they used to be. His thick head of wavy blond hair is the same, and I’m tempted to give him a good noogie like the old days. He certainly deserves it. “Hey, guys.” I wring my hands.

When they turn, my heart drops to the dusty ground. Both of their eyes are red-rimmed. “Hey,” Jay croaks.

My breath stops. I’ve only seen Jay cry once before—when his beloved dog, Racer, died.

In the old days, I would’ve run over and hugged Jenny. Now, I’m not sure what to do, so I approach slowly. “What’s going on?” A nasty chill darts up my spine. Has she moved back from Chicago? And, please, tell me she isn’t back on drugs.

“Cassie.” Jenny stands and rushes over before throwing her arms around me.

I hug her back, the awkwardness vanishing like we never spent a second apart. When we finally pull away and I see her face, it’s clear that we have.

She has dark circles around her eyes and skin aged beyond her twenty-eight years. Automatically, I start to ask her how she’s doing, but I stop myself because I can see things haven’t been well. Instead, I say, “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too. So much.” She bites her lip, something she does when she’s fighting back tears. She waves to the rock. “Come have a seat with us.”

When I make my way over, Jay reaches into the cooler by his side. Without a word, he pulls out a bottle of water before twisting off the cap and handing it to me.

“Thanks.” I take it.

I’m scared to ask, but I do anyway. “What’s going on?” I peer at the view to see the sun dipping low in the horizon, casting an amber glow over the rows of vines, brown and bare.

Jenny exhales. “I’m in trouble, Cassie.”

A wave of emotion hits. “I’m so sorry.”

She continues, “I’d been clean for six years—since I got pregnant with Henna. I was doing so well that I thought I was past it all.” She swallows hard. “I moved to Atlanta and relapsed. I got in a terrible car accident. And it was my second offense, Cass.”

I close my eyes, fighting back tears. I’m sad, but I’m also angry at Jenny. How can I not be? Her actions hurt so many people—everyone involved in the accidents and their families. And now, Henna, Jay, and her parents too.

She continues, “I was in jail this summer because I couldn’t make bail. Jay finally decided to give me the money so I could have a few weeks with Henna.”

It’s so hard to imagine her like this. The Jenny I knew was the most responsible, loyal, and kind friend I’ve ever known. Our sophomore year in high school, my boyfriend, Dustin Olsen, broke up with me at the end of the school year because he had to “fully dedicate himself to Dungeons and Dragons for the summer.”

Dustin was a volunteer ranger with the most perfect moppy hair. I was sure he was my soulmate, and I’d spent all sophomore year practicing the signature, “Cassie Olsen.” It was devastating—not only had I’d gotten dumped, but dumped for D&D.

Jenny had driven all the way from Danesworth to Atlanta and back—a three-hour drive in total—to get me pizza from Cheesie Pie, my favorite. They have this odd combination I love—artichoke hearts, goat cheese, and balsamic glaze. Jenny stayed over and we pigged out on junk food and binge watched Sandra Bullock movies.

That night, I remember thinking nothing in the world could ever come between us.

But when Jenny started partying our senior year, that did it. I was studying all the time to get a college scholarship, which paid off. Luckily, I made it all the way through vet school without loans. Jenny’s heavy drinking turned to drugs in college, and she dropped out. That’s when she moved to Chicago to pursue her dream of painting murals. I was happy to hear through the grapevine that she’d gotten clean. She was so extremely talented, and I hoped she’d find the success she deserved.

Jenny points to her ankle, which has a monitor on it. “So, my trial is Monday and the writing’s on the wall. My lawyer says to expect to get ten years. Out in eight with good behavior. Whatever happens, it’s going to be a long time.”

I can’t fight the tears anymore. It’s all too much. I meet Jay’s gaze, and his blue eyes are misty and gray, like a fog rolled in. Then I look back to Jenny. “I don’t know what to say except that I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you. I hurt people with my irresponsible behavior, and I’ve made my peace with that. But Henna. She’s five, and she’s so amazing, Cass. I want to make sure she has the best we all can give her.”

Jenny’s words gut me. That poor little girl. “Of course you do. And I saw Henna. She’s adorable. Is there anything I can do?”

Jay clears his throat. “She’s why I moved back to Danesworth. Jenny and I both want Henna to be close to her grandparents.”

“That makes sense.” More dread prickles up my spine at the fact that Jay didn’t answer my question.

“There’s more.” His Adam’s apple slides up and down his throat. “The reason we asked you here.”

“Okay,” I squeak out.

Jenny inhales sharply. “I want both you and Jay to take Henna.”

I gasp. “I’m sorry. What?”

“I want you to help Jay raise my daughter.” Jenny’s lips tremble. “Cassie, you and Jay are the two people I trust more than anyone else in this entire world. The two people I know will love Henna like your own.”

My mouth is bone dry and I take a big swig of water. “Oh wow, I’m honored,” I manage to say because I am honored. And totally and completely terrified. I can’t take care of a child. I barely have any time to take care of myself as I fight to keep my clinic running on fumes and donations.

Jay looks at me with his big round eyes when he says, “Henna loves the outdoors and animals, just like Jenny. Just like you.”

I can’t respond because his words suck the remaining wind from my chest. I sit, still as stone, staring at the sky as the rusty colors blur from the glaze in my eyes.

Jay points up the hill. “I bought the Murphys’ old house up the road. It’s been completely renovated, and now it’s beautiful, inside and out. It’s got the same views as this home, and I know you’ll love it…” He clears his throat. “If you decide you’d like to live with Henna and me.”

Now I’m moving? Although on that one, I’m tempted. I used my own money to expand Born Wild, so my tiny apartment is rundown, and its only views are of the freeway.

But living with Jay? I’ll kill him.

“I know you’re scared.” Jenny jumps in. “But Cass, you have the hugest heart. You’ve dedicated your life to caring for tiny creatures. You have so much love to give.”

I know she means it, and maybe she’s right about that. But taking care of a child? That means daily meals on the table, helping with homework, rubbing sick tummies, and giving comforting hugs with bullies and breakups. Could I really do all that? How would I ever be enough?

Plus, I have a crippling fear I don’t talk about with anyone—something that I don’t think I’ll ever get past after what happened.

I want to say no, but I can’t. This isn’t the kind of thing you say no to.

That darling little girl with pigtails and bright eyes needs me.

CHAPTER THREE

ALL MOVED IN.

Jay and I agreed to bury the hatchet between us for Henna and Jenny’s sake. And Jay was right. This house is amazing. It’s a large three-story craftsman home with so much charm—coffered ceilings, a wrap-around porch, and a big chef’s kitchen. The best part, though, is the view. It’s the same as Jenny and Jay’s parents’ house, but better because it’s a little higher up the mountain.

Having nature’s spectacular show in my very own backyard is a dream come true.

The place has five bedrooms, so there’s one for each of us, a spare for guests, and another that we converted into an office.

It’s all so unbelievable. I’m living with Jay down the road from his parents’ house and we’re roommates, raising a child. It definitely hasn’t all sunk in yet.

But my parents have been very supportive—offering to take Henna any time we need it. That’s helped ease some of my fears.

For my first night in the house, I’ve brought home my orphaned beaver, Floyd. He’s four-weeks-old and needs to be fed five times a day, which means caring for him through the night. He also has to swim because it aids his digestion, so I put his kiddie pool filled with willow branches and leaves on the screened-in porch.

Soon, he’ll need to start practicing building a dam. I can’t wait to watch him when he does; I know he’s going to be the best at it. He’s already an overachiever.

I also brought home two injured birds, Southwest and Jet Blue, and their cages sit on the porch. We didn’t have enough space for them at the clinic. Luckily, Hammy got adopted by a great family that has other pet pigs.

I’m sitting on the couch feeding Floyd with a bottle when Jay comes walking in the door. Today, he was scouting out places to open his own vet clinic before he picked Henna up from school. He looks at me, his eyes bulging. “Cass.”

“What?” I say, doing my best not to sound indignant. Jay better not try to stand between me and my animals. I hold up the baby beaver, and he whimpers. Baby beavers actually sound like human babies, and Floyd is so dang cute I want to cuddle him all day long. “Floyd, meet Jay. Jay, meet Floyd.”

Jay closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before approaching. “Hey, Floyd.” Jay pets Floyd’s head, which has a shabby patch of white fur that looks so ridiculous, it’s adorable. Jay continues, “Did you lose your mama?”

“Yes, he did, poor sweet baby. He was found dehydrated and hungry, but he’s doing great now.” I pat his full tummy. “Growing big and strong like a good little beaver.”

Henna comes darting in the door, her backpack flapping back and forth as she runs. When she sees Floyd, she gasps, and a glowing smile takes over her face. “What a cute ball of fur!”

It’s good to see Henna smile. When Jenny first told her what was happening, she cried nonstop. Of course she did. Henna’s been quiet and melancholy since, so this is definitely a breath of fresh air.

She runs over and pets Floyd’s head. “Can we keep him?”

“No, sweetie,” I say softly with a smile. “He has to be released back into the wild where he’ll be happiest. But do you want to feed him?” If Floyd was just learning to bottle feed, having Henna do it could be dangerous. Baby beavers, or kits, can spit up formula and aspirate it into their lungs, catching pneumonia. But Floyd has mastered the bottle and loves it.

“Yes!” She jumps in the air before sitting on the couch. I give her Floyd’s bottle, and she’s great at holding it and being gentle with Floyd.

“Good job, Henna, you’re a natural.”

“I am! Can he sleep with me?” She looks at me, her bright eyes even brighter.

“He’s gotta stay in his warm crate because he’s a baby.” I point to it. “See? That’s his bed. Just like a human baby sleeps in a crib.”

“I love him.” Henna pulls him close.

“Cass, has Floyd been checked over for…everything?” Jay asks.

By everything, I assume he means diseases. I shoot him a glare. “Of course he has.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Henna, why don’t you get cleaned up? I’m making mac and cheese for dinner. Oh, and there’s a surprise for you in your room.”

Another surprise? If Jay buys Henna any more toys, there won’t be any space left for her in her own bedroom.

“Yay!” She hands Floyd back to me. “Thanks, Uncle Jason!” she calls out as she runs off.

Once she’s out of earshot, Jay frowns. “Cassie, we can’t have beavers and birds here. I don’t think it’s good for Henna to get attached to the animals. She can’t handle any more heartbreak.”

I hate that Jay makes a good point. “That’s true.”

“And you know the vice-chairperson of GAF, Analise Fraser? I’ve invited her over. She might fund my new vet clinic.”

GAF stands for Georgia Animal Foundation, and on that point, I have a solid argument. “You’ll just have to explain my work to Analise. I mean, she’s on a board that serves animals. Of all people, she should understand. Maybe she’ll even donate to Born Wild.”

“I don’t think that’ll happen.” Jay purses his lips. “She’s more interested in businesses that can eventually donate money than the ones that need it. I have to send the message that we’re running top-notch facilities.”

“And a kiddie pool full of willow sticks isn’t top-notch?” I try to keep a serious face, but a smile breaks through. “Come on.”

Jay laughs, a full-bellied laugh, something I haven’t heard from him in years. “Aw, Sass, what am I going to do with you?”

Sass—my old nickname he’d given me when he was in seventh grade and I was in ninth. I hated it then, but for some reason, I don’t anymore. “I’m not sure, but I don’t take well to being told what to do.”

“Thus, the nickname.” He quirks up a brow. “You never have, not that I’d try, anyway. I did that with Jenny, and all it did was drive her to do the opposite.”

I sigh, sadness washing through me. “On that one, I’m with you. She should’ve listened.”

“Yeah, well. I’d probably have done better by her keeping my trap shut. Then she wouldn’t have gone looking for trouble just to spite me.”

I don’t know how to respond, so a quiet moment passes. Then the corners of my mouth tilt up when I say, “Careful, cowboy. Being in Danesworth is bringing back your accent.”

He grins. “Can’t let that happen.” But the smile falls away as he looks to the floor. “You don’t have siblings, so you don’t know what that rivalry’s like, but it’s a bear.”

His words kick me in my hurt place, buried deep. Melancholy rushes through me, but I fight it away. I force an upbeat tone when I reply, “That’s definitely true.”

Jay didn’t mean to hurt me; he has no idea what happened. And I’m certainly not going to tell him.

CHAPTER FOUR

WE HAD A lull at the clinic, so I came home early today to take a much needed break. When I step out of my car, I hear a buzzing echoing from the backyard.

Walking around back, I find Jay cutting boards with a circular saw on a sawhorse. His shirt’s off, and I blink.

Holy moly, is that a six-pack? Or is it eight? And it’s chilly out—why does he need his shirt off? Although he’s working hard, and really, who am I to complain?

He looks up and meets my gaze, smiling as he turns off the saw.

I approach, asking, “What are you doing? I thought you were at a planning meeting for your new clinic.”

“It got canceled, so I decided to keep myself busy.” He holds up the start of…something. A bench? I can’t tell. He continues, “It’s going to be a porch swing. Henna really wants one.”

“Oh.” I manage a smile, tilting my head sideways to see if it helps me visualize a future porch swing. It doesn’t. “Cool.”

“I know, it needs work.” He sighs. “I can’t seem to get the measurements right. And the boards keep slipping, so they’re not straight.”

“Maybe you just need another set of hands.” I put mine up.

His face twists in surprise. “Wow, you’d do that?”

“Of course I’d do that.”

“Great. This is a whole lot easier with two people.”

We get busy, and I’m having fun being the person helping him create something from nothing. When we get the boards cut evenly, the pieces fit together, and it feels really good. I’m reminded that we make a great team when we’re not battling over money and power. We’d always worked well together as kids, but all that changed when Jay changed.

Our neighbor, Tiffany Jones, is on her way to our house after picking Henna up from school. Tiffany’s son, Caleb, is three and in the preschool there, so Tiffany made the nice offer. Initially, I’d declined because I don’t think I’m up to returning the favor. The huge responsibility of driving Caleb terrifies me, but Tiffany wouldn’t take no for an answer.

When they arrive at our house, I text Tiffany that Jay and I are in the backyard. After making their way to us, Tiffany jiggles her baby, Asher, in her arms, and Henna and Caleb dart off to the swing set in the yard. “Hi, y’all,” Tiffany says with a smile. Asher is frowning and red-faced, like he’s been crying.

“Hi, guys.” I shift on my feet. I never know how to act around babies, especially sad ones. I paint on my best smile when I say, “Well, hello, Asher.”

When he buries his head into Tiffany’s shoulder, she says, “Don’t mind him. He’s just late for his nap.”

“Thank you so much for picking up Henna.” I glance over to see Caleb and Henna running circles around the tire swing. “It seems like she’s made a friend.”

“No problem at all.” Tiffany rubs Asher’s back. “Caleb loves having her around, so I was happy to do it.”

Jay brushes the dust off his pants as he approaches. “Good to see you, Tiff, and thanks so much.” Then he puts his hands over his face, peeking through his fingers at Asher. And it works—Asher manages a smile.

Tiffany glances over at Henna and Caleb, before calling out, “Caleb, no! Don’t put that up your nose!” She looks at me, wide-eyed. “Can you hold Asher for a second? I have to grab Caleb.”

I blink, frozen. I want to take Asher, but my arms won’t move. Desperate, I shoot Jay a look. A confused expression flashes on face before he rushes to Tiffany and says, “Sure, I’ve got him.”

Jay takes Asher and Tiffany darts to Caleb, who’s now standing next to us with something pink hanging out of his nose. I blow out a silent stream of air, beyond relieved Jay stepped in and took the baby.

Tiffany leans Caleb’s head back and carefully edges out whatever’s stuck in there, as though she’s done this before. It’s pretty clear she has. Out comes a bead, probably from one of Henna’s bracelets. Tiffany holds Caleb’s shoulders when she says, “Honey, you can’t put things in your nose, okay?”

“Okay, mommy,” he says before darting back to Henna, nonplussed.

Once Tiffany has Asher back in her arms, she ushers Caleb out of our backyard, and Jay tells Henna to go wash up for dinner.

When Henna is out of earshot, Jay asks, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just out of practice with babies,” I say, although I’m not sure I believe myself.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” Jay reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ticket. “I got this and thought you’d enjoy it more than I would.”

I take it from his hand, relieved at the subject change. When I see it’s a free pass to the Animal Rescue Symposium in California in a few months, I gasp. I’ve always wanted to go, but I never had the funds. “This is amazing, thank you.” With a thought, I say, “Wait. That means airfare and hotel costs too. I’m not sure I should do that right now, getting settled with Henna—”

“I have all that comped because of my position on GAF’s board. You’re a licensed vet, so you can stand in for me.”

“Seriously?” I walk up and pull Jay into a hug without thinking. “Thank you so much, truly.”

“No problem.”

To my surprise, I’m enjoying this hug more than I thought I would. So much so that I don’t want to let go. When Jay pulls me closer, I let him. And why is electricity shooting all the way to my toes?

Uncomfortable with whatever it is I’m feeling, I pull away and brush an invisible piece of lint off my shirt. I clear my throat. “You’re a good friend.”

Something flashes in his eyes, and he’s quiet for a beat. Then the corner of his mouth quirks up when he says, “Right. Friends.”

CHAPTER FIVE

HENNA IS STAYING the night at my parents’ house tonight. It’s on the other side of town, which is still only fifteen minutes away. To celebrate the A+ she got on her spelling test, they’re having pizza and cupcakes. She’s adjusting to her new school so well.

After living together for a month, tonight’s the first time Jay and I will be home alone.

And I’ll admit, I need the break from Henna. It’s dawning on me that becoming a mother overnight is a huge adjustment. I knew it would be, but it’s all so much more than I could’ve imagined—more rewarding, but also more exhausting.

Henna needs her sack lunch made every morning, and she won’t eat a bite of it if I pack anything that gets “icky or squishy.” She’s mortified of the dark, so we have to turn on the lights before she’ll go into any room. And forget her going upstairs by herself. She won’t really sleep alone either. I hold her hand until she falls asleep—she won’t let me hug her—but after, she wakes up and climbs into bed with me most nights, anyway. At first, I would take her back to her own room, but exhaustion won out. I’ve given that up for now. She’s going through a rough time—she probably needs the extra closeness.

I was thinking Jay and I could relax and watch a movie like the old days. When he used to find excuses to sneak in and veg with Jenny and me, I pretended to hate it, but I didn’t.

With my favorite fleece blanket, I’ve burrowed myself into the couch. On the coffee table is the specialty white-cheddar popcorn I’ve been dying to try.

Jay is a little late coming home, but that’s expected. Because of several permitting issues, he’s behind on the plans for the new vet hospital.

When he walks through the door, my heart skips a beat, which annoys me. “How was work, honey?” I ask with a wink.

“Uh, great,” he says, shifting from one foot to another.

“There’s leftover lasagna in the fridge.” I jab a thumb backward. “And I’ve got gourmet popcorn—”

“Nice place!” a female voice echoes from the doorway.

My gaze darts to a stunning woman in a red dress and black stilettos. “Oh, hello,” I chirp.

She blinks, flipping her perfectly smoothed and styled hair. “Hello. I’m Analise.” She extends her hand.

“Cassie.” I shake it. Jay has a business meeting with her tonight?

She looks at Jay. “I didn’t know you were married.”

“Oh, I’m not!” His voice cracks. “That’s just Cassie, my roommate.”

My heart plummets, but I wave. “Just little old me. I was about to”—I stop because Jay is staring me down—“to head to my room and watch a movie.”

“Cool,” Analise says in a way that indicates it’s anything but cool.

I force a smile. “So, what are you guys up to?”

“We’re having drinks, then Jay’s making me dinner.” She raises a perfectly groomed eyebrow. “He told me he can cook, but I’m skeptical.”

“What’s that about?” Jay calls out. He’s in the kitchen taking out the drink shaker. “Cassie, tell Analise I’m a good cook.”

I shoot Jay a look, which he doesn’t see because he’s mixing drinks. “I’ve actually never tried your cooking.” Shifting my gaze to Analise, I smile. “But let me tell you, he makes a mean mac and cheese—fresh from the box.”

Analise throws her head back in laughter. “That’s so funny.”

“You want a drink, Cass?” Jay puts ice into the shaker. He’s got out cranberry juice, Triple Sec, and vodka.

“I’m good, thank you,” I say. “I’ve got gourmet popcorn, and I don’t want anything to interfere with my flavor experience.”

“Okay.” He chuckles. I hear the refrigerator open, and I know Jay’s getting himself a Sam Adams.

Analise clears her throat and calls out, “So, Jason, you were going to give me the plans for your new surgery center tonight. Do you have them? I can take a look now while you’re cooking.”

“Oh, sorry. Those are delayed.” He comes into the living room carrying a Sam Adams in one hand and a martini glass filled with pink liquid and a lemon twist in the other. He hands the Cosmo to Analise, and she thanks him before he continues, “We had an issue with Graham County’s permitting office.”

She bats a hand. “Oh well, I guess no shop talk tonight then. Boohoo.” She flashes me a wink.

My stomach drops. So, I guess this is a date, not business? I mean, not that it wasn’t already obvious, but now it’s obvious obvious.

And why do I care?

“You’ll have to let me know how Jay’s cooking turns out.” I smile as I stand, grabbing my popcorn. “It was nice meeting you, Analise. I’m going to Netflix and actually chill.”

“A pleasure.” She waves a hand, her bright fingernails flashing color through the air.

“Oh, Cass,” Jay calls out, and I turn. He lets out a heavy sigh. “I keep forgetting to tell you. Henna wants a pool.”

“No pools,” I blurt, reflexively. Chills run up my spine, and a knot forms in my stomach. Composing myself, I say, “I mean, she’s a bit young for that. Maybe in a few years?”

“That’s what I thought too,” he replies.

No pool, not in a few years. Not ever.

CHAPTER SIX

JAY’S PARENTS HAVE Henna for the evening, so Phyllis and I are at Romp in the Hay, Danesworth’s only bar, getting drinks. I definitely need one…or four. Seeing Analise in Jay’s oxford button up and nothing else getting coffee from my pot yesterday morning bothered me, even though I know it shouldn’t have.

That said, Jay and I need to come up with some rules. I understand Henna wasn’t home, but does that give Jay the green light to have random women stay over?

Romp in the Hay is a square cement building with faded signs and a sticky floor, but that doesn’t matter because it’s the people inside that make it the place to be. It’s where the whole town gathers to enjoy the best live bluegrass music around.

“Uncle Tido,” Phyllis calls out. Uncle Tido isn’t really her uncle, or anyone’s uncle, for that matter. But everyone calls him that because he’s that bartender—the one with a listening ear and sound advice. When I’d told Uncle Tido that Jay was back in town, Tido made me promise that I’d “give him hell.” I was proud to report I had.

Uncle Tido grabs a glass. “I know, Phyllis, you want what’s on tap.”

“Bingo.” She nods before turning to me. “So, you’re really sticking with this. Raising Henna until she graduates high school?”

“I really am.” I knew these questions were coming. Phyllis and I have been so busy at work, we haven’t had time for chit-chat.

“And you’re just roommates with Jay.”

“Yes. Roommates.”

“Just roommates.” Phyllis raises an eyebrow.

“Just roommates.”

“Okie doke.”

The band gets to the chorus of their hit song, and Phyllis and I jump in and howl out the words along with them before letting out some cheers.

After a lull, Phyllis says, “You know he’s in love with you, right?” She doesn’t take her eyes off the band.

“Okay—tell that to Analise.”

“Who?” She looks at me, her face twisting.

“His sleepover guest a few nights ago.”

“Whatever. A fine show he’s putting on.” She turns and studies me. “And it appears to be working. You’re falling for him.”

“Okay, Ms. Love Guru. What’s going on with you and Mr. Harold from the bakery?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you dodging my question.” She bats a hand. “And, girl, don’t even go there with Harold. Nope. He wouldn’t even bring me free donuts. I’m too damn old to put up with a man who owns a bakery and can’t find it in himself to bring me donuts.”

I bust up and touch Phyllis’s shoulder. I don’t know what I’d do without her, in and out of work.

The door opens with a gush of cool night air. Jay walks in, and he’s dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, his blond hair looking more like it did when we were young—tousled and free. It’s nice to see him out of his business suits or lab coats and looking relaxed. Approaching, he says, “Hey, Cassie, Phyllis.”

“Jay.” Phyllis doesn’t smile. “So, how about that money you owe us? It’s never too late to do the right thing.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Jay deadpans.

Bree Turner, the best hairstylist and the center of all gossip here in Danesworth, walks in the door and joins Jay. “Hey, gorgeous.” She kisses his cheek. “I’m here.”

I close my eyes so I don’t roll them.

“Hey you,” Jay replies with a nervous smile, an imprint of ruby red lipstick on his cheek.

“Hey, Bree.” Phyllis puts out her hand. “Do you do nails? Mine are a wreck.”

“Yes, absolutely!” Bree wanders over and sits next to Phyllis. “Let’s take a look.”

“You owe me,” Phyllis whispers in my ear.

“Nope,” I whisper back.

Uncle Tido gets us more beers and when Jay settles onto the barstool next to me, his scent of sandalwood drifts through the air between us.

It makes my brain go fuzzy, but that’s only because I happen to love that smell—earth, woods, and fresh rain. I shake it off. “So, Dr. Jason Carter, how’s the plans for the latest pet palace coming?”

“Almost done, but they’re more for a chateau.” He flashes me a lopsided smile. “I found out that multiple celebrities from Atlanta have second homes here in Danesworth, so that’s great news.”

“Swell. I was hoping to catch up on my celeb gossip.”

“Ouch.” He feigns a hurt expression. “You know, that’s my clientele, so I kinda have to be dialed in.”

“So, what was your excuse for being ‘dialed in’ in high school?”

Oh, burn.” Jay puts a hand over his chest. “Wait. Weren’t you obsessed with Billy Road junior year? Oh, yup, you were.”

“Pshaw! I was just a huge fan of his music like everyone else on earth.”

“Okay.” His mouth quirks up. “I saw you kissing his poster.”

“No way—Jenny dared me to do that!” I playfully slap his shoulder as he cracks up.

Still smiling, he takes a sip of his beer and keeps his eyes trained on the band when he says, “You know, we’re not that different, you and I.”

“Oh, I think we are.”

“We’re both veterinarians, committing our lives to saving animals. We both love beavers.”

“The kind of beavers you and I like are quite different, I assure you.”

Jay chuckles. “Walked right into that one, didn’t I? Okay, I don’t love all beavers, but I do love Floyd.”

“Everybody loves Floyd. That doesn’t count.”

He grins. “And we both think Henna’s the best.”

“Henna is the best,” I parrot. “Aw, I miss her.” I couldn’t wait to get away from her, but now that I am, I want her back.

“Me too. See?”

I laugh.

“We both like to dance.” His tone turns serious.

“Also true.” My heart rate kicks up at the thought of dancing with Jay. Which is silly because that’s not going to happen.

“Come on, you’re the one who helped teach me how to dance. It’s only right that you get to reap the benefits of it.”

“Also true.” I meet Jay’s gaze, and his eyes dance with amusement.

He stands and extends his hand. “So, let’s do it, Sass.”

My brow furrows as I nod at Bree. “Shouldn’t you dance with Flavor du Jour?”

He shrugs. “There’s plenty to go around.”

“Apparently.” I stand. “But this has to go.” I take my thumb and wipe off the ruby red lip imprint on his cheek.

When Jay takes me in his arms, he knows exactly what he’s doing. Jenny and I did do a good job teaching him. He throws me out in a spin and when he pulls me back; we seem extra close.

And I don’t mind one bit.

In fact, it’s so comforting and nice, I lean even closer, and when I do, I feel the cut muscles of his chest and abs. Really, where did all these come from?

He brings his lips to my ear and says, “I always knew I’d love dancing with you.”

“Is that so?” My heart is beating so hard it’s thumping in my ears. “And when did you want that?”

“Prom, freshman year. Prom, sophomore year too. You were a senior and way too cool for me.”

“I was, still am, and don’t ever forget it.” My words are tough, but butterflies have gone wild in my gut.

“Yes, ma’am.”

We’re laughing and swinging to the music when Ryan Tyler, my old boyfriend senior year, walks through the door. And I heard through the grapevine—Bree told Harold, who told Phyllis, who told me—that Ryan recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend, Heather.

And he’s still good looking—fit as all get out. That’s probably because he’s a ranger for the Chattahoochee National Forest.

I wave at Ryan, and he flashes me a thousand-watt smile.

I should go because I think Phyllis might be right—like always—that I’m feeling things for Jay beyond friendship. And we can’t get romantically entangled because if we broke up, Henna would be stuck in the middle. That’s the last thing she needs. “I’m gonna git.” I nod toward Ryan.

“Ryan? Seriously?” Jay groans before shuffling away.

It’s for the best. When Jay finds out the truth about me, he won’t want me, anyway.

CHAPTER SEVEN

BACKYARD CAMPING.

I love camping. I do camping, it’s my jam. So, why am I so jittery?

Maybe it’s because Henna is staying in my tent with me while Jay’s in his own? I’ve never spent the night outside with a five-year-old before. And getting Henna to sleep on a normal day is tough. Plus, teaching her how to not pee on her shoes is tricky business. But I’m also worried she’ll wake up scared, or get a tick bite, or hear something scary, or roll on poison ivy, or a million other things I don’t worry about for myself.

But here we go.

And we’re not even really camping since we’re pitching our tents near the river in the valley behind our house. We’re introducing Floyd back into the wild today, as spring is almost here and beavers are becoming more active. It’s unseasonably warm, so we’re going to hike in and stay the night. Beavers are very social creatures, so we have to make sure the local colony will accept him before we leave him behind.

The Danesworth River is a natural beaver habitat with a thriving community, and we couldn’t be more thrilled to have Floyd stay close by. Our property line ends at the cliff, but we’re close enough to enjoy this cozy valley below with winding trails. The scent of pine fills the air from the thickening forest on the other side of the river. I’m crossing my fingers and toes that Floyd will thrive here.

“Let’s race down the trail,” Henna calls out, taking off.

“Hold up, Henna,” Jay calls out.

Sure enough, she trips over a tree root and goes crashing into the ground. And this is exactly what I feared.

“I’m okay,” she calls out, but her voice is unsteady.

She stays tough, though, as we all head back to the house where Jay doctors up her skinned knee.

Henna’s a handful, but I love that about her. She’s struggling through all this adjustment, of course she is. She misses her mother so much. We take her for weekly visits to see Jenny, but they’re short, and she doesn’t get to play with mommy like she used to. Henna’s a trooper in the moments with Jenny, but afterward, she gets quiet and withdrawn.

We spend this Saturday afternoon hiking along the river and searching for the perfect spot to place Floyd, which, as it turns out, is in the river’s valley directly behind our home. When we hike back, it thrills Henna to see our house again, a speck up on the ridge. Obviously, we could sleep at home, but will stay the night in the woods for Henna’s sake. It’s good for her.

After coming up alongside a small waterfall that Jenny and I always loved, Henna says, “I want to go swimming!” before darting ahead.

“Wait, Henna.” I rush to keep up with her. “Honey, you can’t—it’s too dangerous,” I say, even though it’s probably not. I know I’m being irrational, but my fear of her getting hurt overwhelms me. Compromising, I continue with, “You can wade your feet in, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, but the light flickers out of her eyes.

I put my hand on her shoulder. Thinking fast, I say, “How about this—we can set up camp here so we can listen to the falling water all night.”

“Yay!” She smiles.

Jay keeps an eye on Henna while I return to fetch Floyd and his crate from our house. Upon returning, I say, “Okay, are we ready to say our goodbyes to Floyd?” I take him to where I want to let him out.

“Wait!” Henna screams and races over. She looks at Floyd and says, “Hey, Floyd. I know you’re scared, but this is your home. Your friends and family are here.” She lets out a sigh as her shoulders sag. “I love you. I’ll come visit you a lot, so don’t worry about that.”

I nod and run a hand over Henna’s hair. “That was beautiful, Henna.”

“Okay, Uncle Jay, your turn,” I say.

“Floyd, you’re tough, and I know you’re going to make us proud, buddy. Love you. And watch out for those coyotes.”

I open the crate and Floyd patters out slowly, sniffing every step. When he looks up at me with his beady, puzzled eyes, my heart squeezes. I hate this part of my job even though I know it’s the most important. “I love you tons, Mr. Floyd, and you’re going to be the busiest beaver on the river strip. So, go and beaver. You’re the best.”

He wanders farther away, moving faster as he sees the willow branches in the water. I know he can’t wait to get his teeth on those things. Sure enough, he dives in, using his tail to maneuver himself right where he wants to go.

We work our way into the canopy of trees until we find a good place to set up camp. Once we’ve pitched our tents, we get a campfire going to roast our hot dogs and marshmallows. For the first time today, I exhale a long breath.

If I thought hiking alone was tiring, that’s nothing compared to hiking with a child. Luckily, after a day of running around, Henna crashes the minute her head hits the fluffy pillow built into her new, top-grade sleeping bag. It’s sweet how Jay wants to make sure she has the best of everything, but I worry it’s a bit much.

Jay and I both have beers as we sit on small logs we found. The campfire is now a pile of red embers, and the night creatures are chirping and croaking. This is one of my happy places.

I watch Jay stir the fire after I said I was cold, and I can’t help but think he’s so beautiful, his strong features reflecting in the moonlight.

When he finishes, he rests his hands on his knees and sighs. “I missed this.”

“Missed what, exactly?”

“Being out in nature. You can’t help but feel happy.”

“It’s the best cure for sadness there is.”

He nods. “Somehow that’s easy to forget in the big city.”

His words make me feel a deep contentment. “When you first moved here, we all knew it was best for Henna. But it’s great to hear that it was best for you too.”

“It’s a great thing to hear myself say.” He stares into the distance for a beat before he says, “So, about Ryan Tyler.”

I smile. “What about Ryan Tyler?”

“Remember when he asked you to homecoming?”

“Yes.” I laugh. Ryan had put balloons in my locker, one of them containing a note where he asked me. It was after that we started dating, which lasted the rest of senior year.

Jay’s smile is shy. “I was gonna ask you. But he beat me to it.”

“No way!” I cry out in a whisper. I don’t want to wake Henna. “You’re joking, right?”

“No.” His voice is serious. “I had it bad for you. But you just thought I was annoying.”

“Yeah, I kinda did. But come on. You thought I was annoying too.”

“I pretended to think you were annoying, yes.” The smile falls off his face. “But actually, I thought you were strong, smart, witty, and beautiful.”

My cheeks get warm in the cool night air. “Oh.” I fumble for words before I finally say, “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, well…” He clears his throat. “There was a reason for that. I’d never admit any of that after you ended up with Ryan.”

“Ah, Ryan Tyler. I had fun dancing with him the other night, but there was zero chemistry.”

“Really?”

“Not a single atom.” My mouth quirks up. “Anyway, I wish I’d known you wanted to ask me to prom.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” After thinking about it, I say, “You know what? I change my mind. I’m glad I didn’t know. We would’ve gone to homecoming, dated, and then broken up when I left for college. And that would’ve shattered my heart.” I’m surprised at my own words. I think it’s because I could never admit I had a crush on my best friend’s little brother—even to myself.

Jay swats at a bug. “Jenny also told me to back off.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That sibling rivalry thing. If you only knew.”

I hesitate, staring at a twig in the fire, curling as it burns. My voice is just above a whisper when I say, “I wish I did.”

Jay’s face twists in surprise. Finally, he says, “Okay, what just happened, Cass?”

I look down at my fidgeting hands. “I’m sorry. It’s just—can we not talk about me not having siblings? It’s kind of a sore spot.”

“Sure, absolutely.” He leans in. “I’m sorry.”

I touch his shoulder. “Don’t be sorry; you didn’t know.”

“Now I do.”

“Right.” After an awkward silence, I fill the empty air by saying, “It’s weird how I thought of you as so little back then. We have the same two-year age gap now, but I don’t feel older.”

“Well, I’m super mature.”

I laugh, covering my mouth to try to not wake Henna. Jay chuckles quietly along with me. His laughter is so contagious, and I can’t help but laugh more. I’m also grateful for the break in tension.

“I didn’t think it was that funny.” He feigns a pout.

I return my gaze to the fire to see it still glowing red. “It’s amazing how long embers will burn.”

“It is. Under the right circumstances, they can go for days.”

“Really, for days?” I say.

He looks up, going into his fact-reciting mode, something he does often. He’s that person who seems to know a little bit about everything. “Yeah, and with a steady supply of oxygen, they can burn indefinitely. There’s some coal fire that’s been burning deep in the earth for, like, five-thousand years.”

“Wow. A forever fire.”

“Forever fire,” he parrots. “I like that.”

I’m loving this moment so much. It brings me right back to the old days, when things were light, fun, and simple. My face goes serious when I meet his gaze. “So, is the big city the only reason you started chasing money and fame?”

“It was a lot of things. But mostly, I think it was because of Jenny. I worshipped her. She was the reason I wanted to become a veterinarian. Her life was spiraling out of control with her constant fight to stay sober while trying to make a profession out of her murals. Because it’s subjective and full of rejection, she faced constant heartbreak. So, one day, I made a vow to myself—to never pursue anything artsy or dependent on other people, financial or otherwise. I decided I’d create my own success and not rely on gatekeepers.” He sighs. “I became a vet for the rich so I could charge steep prices.”

“That makes sense,” I say, meaning it. It does make a lot of sense, especially given that I’m vulnerable at Born Wild. I have to rely on donations. There’s no other way. People will never pay to get sick or injured wild animals treated. Sometimes that can be exhausting.

“I’m not as brave as you are,” he says, and he’s not smiling.

“You mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course I mean that. You’re the bravest person I know.”

I blink, processing his words. I’d process them more, except I think that Jay’s staring at my lips. Maybe I hope he is? I’m definitely looking at his—plump and glistening in the moonlight. He’s just so handsome, even more so after discovering that deep down, he’s still the kind-hearted and wonderful Jay I once knew. Maybe he’s even more amazing now, shaped by pain, responsibility, and experience.

And come on. The man took in his niece without batting an eye.

He moves in closer, so close he’s a breath away. I whisper, “You’re amazing.”

Just the thought of kissing Jay makes my whole body react.

He moves a hand onto my face, and tingles skitter across my skin from his touch. I can’t break his gaze, and I don’t want to. The look in his ocean-blue eyes ripples through me, like he’s seeing straight into my soul.

His fingers move along my cheekbone. “What is this? Between us?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “But whatever it is, it’s pretty amazing.”

“It is.”

I’m no longer one bit cold as every emotion fires inside of me. I put my hand to his head, running a hand across his soft hair. I can’t look away from his eyes—swirling and mesmerizing like the star-filled night above.

“Uncle Jay, Cassie?” Henna’s voice echoes from the tent. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

I jump up. “Of course, honey.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE FOLLOWING MONDAY, Phyllis brings in caramel-coconut Oreos. They’re so addictive we gorge on them all day. Cranked up on sugar, Phyllis is trying to convince me to start a side window washing business so that we can spy on people. “It’s like front row seats to a movie, Cass. Except it’s real.”

The door chimes and I look up. Seeing Jay, I stand.

Before I can speak, Phyllis says, “Sorry, we’re plumb out of palatial pets.” Her hand is on her hip.

“Yup.” I wave my finger in the air. “No one here's named Gold Digger.” I’m not really angry at Jay anymore, but around Phyllis, I can’t help but play tough. She brings that out in me.

But bigger than that, Jay and I almost kissed a few nights ago, and I’m probably overcompensating, desperate to bring things back to normal. Jay and I haven’t talked about it, and I don’t want to talk about it.

For Henna’s sake, it’s better if we put that behind us and move on.

“Loser!” A voice rings out. I forgot about the new parrot Phyllis brought in yesterday. His colorful vocabulary might be why he isn’t pet-store adoptable.

Jay’s eyes dart around, and when he spies the parrot, he frowns.

“That’s Taco,” Phyllis says. “The jerk whisperer.”

“Cass, I…” Jay trails off and turns back to the door. “We need your help.”

Henna rushes in, and she’s holding a container and crying.

“What’s going on?” I run over and see three baby chipmunks inside the clear box.

Through sobs, Henna says, “Something happened to their mommy.”

Jay rakes his hand through his hair. “We didn’t have any formula at home for them.”

“Their mommy is dead,” Henna blurts out again. “Alvin, Simon, and Theodore have to live.”

I squat down to meet Henna’s eyes. “We’re going to do everything we can for them, okay?” With one look, Phyllis knows to go fetch the supplies. “We’ll give them a check-up, then feed them.”

“Are they gonna die?” Henna’s lips quiver, and my heart breaks.

I put my hand on Henna’s cheek. “We won’t know for sure until we examine them, but so far, they look good. Okay?”

Phyllis rushes over and puts her arms around Henna. “Come and sit with me while Cassie gives the chipmunks an exam. I’m going to tell you how to care for a baby chipmunk. Is that all right?”

Henna sniffles and nods, shuffling behind her.

After Henna is out of earshot, Jay says, “This is about Jenny—”

“I know.” My words are rushed.

He shakes his head. “Henna’s regressing, which is understandable. When she found the orphaned chipmunks, she just snapped.”

“I’ll do everything I can.”

“I don’t have time to feed three chipmunks. They eat six times a day,” Jay mumbles. “I have the hospital I’m trying to open. And Henna needs this right now.”

“We’re out of room here, but I’ll take them home. I’ll have to set them up on the patio and rehab them there.” Then I remember that I’m leaving tomorrow. “Oh, no. The wildlife symposium. I’ll just cancel.”

“Thank you, but don’t do that,” he says. “You need this break, and I can delay the start of the hospital’s construction. It’s already been delayed five times. What’s one more?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Jay gives me a look that’s almost adoring. “I don’t know why I’m always surprised by you. This is what you do. It’s who you are.”

Those same tingles I keep getting around him return, but right now, I can only manage a half-smile.

When I look Alvin over, he’s chilled and dehydrated, but otherwise okay. Same with Theodore, which is completely normal given that they’ve been without their mother, but we need to get on it. It’s Simon that I’m most concerned about. He’s bone thin with grayish eyes. I prepare their bed, which is a hot water bottle covered in cloth for warmth. I grab the syringe of Pedialyte that Phyllis made, then invite Henna back to watch me feed Alvin. He’s the heartiest of the bunch, so I get nervous when he doesn’t take any. I can tell Phyllis is nervous too, but she’s calm when she tells Henna that Alvin just needs some time.

I try again, holding Alvin close to soothe him before I put the syringe to his mouth. But again, he doesn’t take it. I flash Jay a look, and his face falls.

Henna puts her hands over her eyes and starts sobbing again.

Jay’s upbeat when he asks, “Can I give it a try?” I nod and he takes Alvin from me and pets him. “Hey little guy, you gotta eat so you can grow into a big, tough chipmunk, okay? You’re gonna rule someone’s backyard someday.” Jay has this calming yet commanding voice that works magic on animals. It might be having some effect on me too.

After a moment of tense silence, Jay looks at me. “Can you give me some formula, please? I know Pedialyte is best for dehydration, but milk works too.”

“Yep. That was next.” I go to get it, but Phyllis is already standing there with a syringe of milk. “Thanks, Phyllis.” I hand Jay the new syringe, and he puts a tiny bit of milk on the chipmunk’s mouth to taste. His gentle manner reminds me of the real Jay that’s appearing more and more as his facade crumbles.

All the air disappears from the room as we wait for Alvin to respond.

Sure enough, when the little guy gets a lick of the good stuff, he sucks away.

“He’s eating!” Henna claps her hands. “Thank you.”

“You’re the one who saved him, Henna. You found him and his brothers and brought them here.” I glance at Jay, and he manages a grin.

When Alvin’s ready, Jay places him in his warm bed. “Can I take a tour of the place, Cass? It’s been a while.” He shoots me a look. He doesn’t want Henna around when we try to feed Simon and Theodore.

“I’ll feed the others,” Phyllis cuts in.

“Thank you.” I turn to Jay and Henna. “Let’s go.”

“Can I stay and watch Ms. Phyllis feed Simon and Theodore?” Henna asks.

Jay glances at me. “Maybe tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” Her tone is disappointed, but she starts walking out the door.

“I’ll text you an update,” Phyllis says.

As I take Jay and Henna around, we visit an injured mole rat, a nest-fallen baby bird, and two wild bunnies. Henna is holding one of the bunnies, Gus, when Phyllis texts me saying that Simon didn’t eat, but Theodore is sucking away. So, we tell Henna she can go watch.

Jay takes Gus from Henna and we continue our tour. Entering the lobby, Jay sighs and pets Gus’s head. “I thought I had it all figured out.”

“How do you mean?”

“Opening a high-end vet hospital here, becoming more successful by expanding.” He shakes his head. “I thought if I gave Henna the world, she wouldn’t feel so badly about Jenny. But I should know good and well that doesn’t do it.”

I hesitate, choosing my words carefully. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Doing something meaningful—” he purses his lips. “That’s what heals.”

“It’s why I’m here every day. And I’m happy.” I think about my constant worry of getting enough donations and add, “For the most part.”

“It’s actually quite simple. This is what makes Henna happy—caring for animals.”

“Just like her uncle.”

He smiles, and those crystal blues of his could light up all of Danesworth. “I’d like it if Henna and I could volunteer here. It would make her happy.” He exhales. “Both of us.”

“And the animals.”

He nods. “Of course. There’s this incredible woman I know who rescued a flying pet pig. I hope it might make her happy too.”

My breath hitches. “It just might.”

“Loser!” Taco chirps.

“Eh, give him a chance, Taco.” I flash Jay a wink. “He grows on you.”

CHAPTER NINE

AFTER WE PUT Henna to bed, Jay and I plan to take alternating shifts feeding the baby chipmunks. I need as much sleep as I can get, as my flight to California for the symposium leaves tomorrow morning.

It’s after two a.m. on my shift when Simon takes his formula. I’ve never been so happy about seeing an animal take a big leap forward. After he eats and his energy level improves, I’m relaxed and content returning to bed.

I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep when I hear Jay’s concerned voice above me. “Cassie?” I roll over and look at the alarm clock. It’s after four a.m., and I sit straight up. “What’s going on?”

His face is downcast; his glossy eyes reflecting in the dim light. “Come with me.”

“Oh, no.” I fly out of bed, stubbing my toe on Gus’s cage. I had to bring him home to make room for another bunny who needed the monitoring equipment we have at Born Wild. “I was so happy because Simon finally ate. He was doing so well.”

We get in the living room and Jay says, “It’s not Simon.”

I look in their bed to see Theodore motionless, his eyes gray. “I don’t understand,” I mumble, but I do. Sometimes, this just happens, and it’s horrible. I scoop Theodore up and he’s cold, but he twitches, so I know he’s still alive.

I rub him, desperate to get him to keep breathing. I flip him over and rub his tummy, talking to him, coaxing him to keep on.

But he fades away in my palms. “No, no!” I cry out. “You have to live, little buddy.” I should be used to losing animals. It happens all the time. And I am used to it, as much as anyone can be used to seeing death. But this is about Henna, and she can’t see these chipmunks die after losing their mother.

I keep going, frantic to get Theodore to respond. Finally, Jay puts his hands over mine. “That’s enough, Cassie. It’s time to let him go.”

My body shudders as Jay’s words take me back to that ghastly day. I’ll never forget my dad’s sharp voice. “It’s time to let him go.”

Mom had miscarried my baby brother, and I wouldn’t leave his nursery.

“No.” Tears bubble in my eyes.

Jay moves so that he’s directly in front of me. “Look at me, Cass.”

I tear my gaze away from Theodore to do as he asks.

Jay moves a hand to my cheek. “We have two other chipmunks that are probably going to make it. That’s huge. So, let Theodore go.”

“I can’t.” My voice is lifeless, hoarse.

“Why can’t you do that?”

“I don’t know!” I cry out. Tears fall as memories appear, crystal clear, like it all happened yesterday. The pain resurfaces, sharp and gutting. “I already had to let go of my baby brother,” I whisper, closing my eyes as soon as the words are out of my mouth. For the first time in my life, I said them out loud.

“I don’t understand, Cassie. What are you talking about?” Jay’s voice is soft.

I sit for a beat, trying to calm myself enough to put words together. Then, I place Theodore in a shoe box and cover him with tissue so we can bury him tomorrow. “We’ll have to have the ceremony with Henna first thing in the morning, before I leave.”

“We can do that. And Henna will be sad, but she’ll also be happy that Alvin and Simon are doing well. I’ll take good care of them while you’re gone.”

“Thank you.” Resettling on the couch, I prepare myself to tell Jay a story I’ve never told anyone. I ask, “Remember when Jenny almost drowned?”

Jenny and I were five-years-old, and we were playing in my neighbor’s pool during a party. Jenny couldn’t swim, so she was at the shallow end. But I coaxed her to the deep end, and the next thing I knew, she was underwater and struggling. I desperately tried to pull her out, but frantic, she yanked me underwater too. It was then that my mom jumped in and saved us both.

Jay sits next to me on the couch. “I don’t remember it, I was too young, but of course I’ve heard the story.”

I hesitate, exhaling as my eyes mist. “My mom was pregnant with my brother at the time.”

“Oh no.”

A smile breaks through my tears. “I was so happy that Mom let me help her decorate the nursery. His name was Hunter, which we had spelled out in blocks on his dresser. I couldn’t wait to hold him.”

“I’m so sorry, Cass. I had no idea.” Jay’s voice is hoarse.

“Well, you were only three. But after Mom saved us, she started bleeding. We left the party right away, my dad stating a work emergency.” I clear my throat. “He rushed Mom to the emergency room. She was bleeding so much, Jay. It’s forever burned into my brain, no matter how hard I try to forget it. I just remember thinking that she was going to die. I didn’t understand.”

Jay moves his hand over mine and squeezes it.

I continue, “My parents found out that Hunter never could’ve survived outside the womb, but they didn’t tell me that—of course they didn’t. I was five. So, for years, I thought it was my mom jumping in to save Jenny and me that killed my brother. And it was my fault because I coaxed Jenny to the deep end.”

“Cass,” Jay utters, putting a hand on my back.

“When my mom never got pregnant again, I blamed myself for that too because the surgery they performed during her miscarriage left her infertile. Then, when I grew old enough to learn what actually happened, I still blamed myself because I’d done that for so long, I couldn’t stop.”

Jay just rubs my back, his touch much more comforting than his words.

I continue, “Now, I’m terrified of caring for human babies. I feel like they’re so fragile, which makes no sense because I love caring for tiny animals. It’s illogical, but deep down, I’m afraid I won’t be enough to save a child.” My voice shakes. “Thank heavens Mom could save Jenny, but I thought because I couldn’t, we lost Hunter. So, it’s like, I keep trying to save everything else to make up for what happened. It never works though, not really. There’s still this emptiness inside.”

“I’m so, so sorry.” He pulls me into a hug, and I hug him back. I’ve missed being in his arms. There’s nothing better, and I wish I could stay like this forever.

After pulling away, Jay’s eyes go glossy when he says, “It doesn’t compare, I know, but I have some understanding of how you feel.”

“I bet you do.” I run my hand over his shoulder.

“It’s so strange. I couldn’t save Jenny either. Believe me, I tried. And I tried.” Jay’s voice cracks. “At some point I had to give myself some grace. Jenny was the only person who could save Jenny. It was just so damn hard to accept.” His eyes are shadowy pools when he whispers, “Some things just can’t be saved.”

CHAPTER TEN

IT’S EARLY THE next morning when Tiffany is at our front door. I open it to see a desperate look on her face and Asher in her arms. Caleb is standing next to her with red-rimmed eyes. I say, “Hey, Tiffany. What’s going on?”

“I’m so sorry to bother you so early, but Caleb put a bean up his nose this time. I have to take him to the ER. My parents are out of town and John’s in surgery. Can you watch Asher, just for a few hours?”

Asher lets out a whimper and my jaw freezes. I can’t speak.

Not this again.

Of course, I want to help Tiffany, but I’m desperately fighting just to get my mouth to cooperate. In an instant, Jay is beside me at the door. “Sure, Tiff, we’ll take him.” He puts out his arms and takes little Asher.

When Asher cries, my chest gets tight. But I manage to wish Tiffany and Caleb well before closing the door. Jay plays peek-a-boo with Asher using his baby blanket, and the kid is all giggles just moments after Tiffany leaves.

It’s not long before Jay’s wearing Asher in his BabyBjörn and the two are going everywhere together. The kid loves Jay and even falls asleep right in the BabyBjörn. Jay makes it seem like caring for a baby is the easiest thing on earth.

And it might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

But all this has made us late to wake Henna. Now, we’ll barely have time for Theodore’s ceremony. I have to leave for the airport in a few minutes—my flight takes off at ten a.m. and it’s now eight-forty.

When Henna comes into the kitchen rubbing her eyes, I walk over, kneeling when I say, “Honey, I have to tell you something.”

Her bottom lip quivers. “Simon’s dead, isn’t he?”

“No, Simon’s okay.”

“Yes!” Her smile is so bright, and it feels impossible to say what I have to say next.

“Come here, sweetie.” I take her tiny hands into my own. “It’s Theodore. He died last night. I’m so sorry.”

“Huh?”

“Theodore got really sick. He didn’t make it through the night. I’m so sorry.”

“Not Theodore. That’s worse. I loved him the most!” She breaks into a sob and I try to hug her, but she pushes me away before running into her room, wailing.

I chase after her before realizing that she probably needs a minute to herself. I stand outside her door, unsure of what to do. With Henna’s cries echoing from her room, Asher joins in. Jay bounces him, but the baby’s inconsolable.

To add to the chaos, the birds on the patio start squawking. I get a dizzying rush to my head, and I feel like I can’t breathe.

I’m stumbling to the front door for fresh air to find Phyllis there. She’s here to take me to the airport, and I check my phone. It’s eight-forty-five, time to go. Now. I’m not even going to be there an hour beforehand like I’m supposed to be.

Phyllis’s eyes go huge before rushing into the hallway. I don’t know why until I see Gus hopping away. To where, who knows.

“How did Gus get out?” I put my hand on my head.

Phyllis rushes Gus back to his crate, and Jay comes over—with Asher still crying—and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, I got this, okay?” He speaks loudly so I can hear him over the racket. He flashes Phyllis a look before returning his gaze to me. “You should head out. You don’t want to miss your flight, Cass. Have fun!” He manages a smile.

Phyllis says, “I’ll be in the car.”

I turn to Jay and blurt, “I can’t leave Henna like this.” Which I can’t, but I’m also crawling out of my own skin. I return to Henna’s door and knock. “Henna, I have to go. My flight is leaving. I'll miss you, honey.”

“Go away!” she yells between sobs. “I want my real mom.”

Her words hit like a blow, and I back up to the wall. I know she’s only five-years-old and crushed, but she’s right. I’m not her mother and never will be. Realizing Asher’s crying is quieter, I look for Jay. I finally see them through the back patio doors. Jay stands on the porch, still rocking Asher.

With a trembling hand, I grab my suitcase before rushing out the door.

I can’t do this.

AS PHYLLIS DRIVES, we both sit in silence. Finally, she says, “You okay?”

“No.” Tears form in my eyes. “What made me think I could raise someone else’s child?”

“Doesn’t seem like you have to.”

Phyllis keeps her eyes trained on the road when I ask, “What do you mean?”

“You know I don’t like Jay.”

“All of Danesworth knows you don’t like Jay.”

“Well, I do now.” She lets out a long sigh. “That man, calm as a cookie, holds a crying baby while another one squalls in her bedroom—with wild animals on the loose? And he tells you to go so you don’t miss your flight…with a smile?”

I blink. “That is amazing, isn’t it?”

“Girl, he’s a keeper.”

“Maybe, but I can’t go there. I’m terrified of babies, so I won’t be able to give him a family.”

Phyllis shoots me a look, staring so long I get nervous she’s going to wreck the car. “If you don’t want a family, that’s one thing. You shouldn’t have one. But I know you, Cassandra Moore. You want a family.”

She returns her focus to the road, and I exhale. “Maybe. But I can’t be responsible for a baby or small child. What if he or she gets hurt or dies?”

“Now you aren’t even making sense. You’ve already taken on that responsibility with Henna. And if you don’t have the rest of the children you want, then it’s like they’re dead, anyway. If you don’t take that risk, then you’re gonna live a life full of regrets. And what kind of life is that?”

“I don’t know.” My brain can’t keep up.

“I do. A crappy one. I know all about regrets.” Her voice gets soft, wistful. “I’m old, which means I’m wise. So, shut up and listen. You’ve got a great man, a great god-daughter, and an amazing start of a family. Don’t screw it up.”

I blink. “Oh crap. I could screw this up.” Her words terrify me, and suddenly, everything is clear. “I don’t want to do that. I love Jay.”

“You don’t say.”

I look at her, my eyes bulging. “And Henna. I love her, even if I’m not her real mother. And I should tell them that.”

“Yes you should.”

I wave my hands as if that’ll help Phillis drive the car. It doesn’t. “Can you turn around, please?”

“Yup, that’s why I’m in the left lane. Gonna flip around here at Mill Road.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

WHEN WE PULL into the driveway, another car rolls in behind us. I look into the rear-view mirror to see Mr. Harold from the bakery. “What’s he doing here?” I open my car door.

Phyllis turns and gasps.

Harold jumps out of his car and calls out, “Phyllis, please stop avoiding me. I saw you make a U-turn on Mill Road, so I followed you. Please—I’m sorry.”

“Nope, no way.” She folds her arms.

“Phyllis!” I say. “What about that whole ‘no regrets’ spiel? You’re going to bark out sage advice and then not take it yourself?” She looks at me again, another long stare.

I check the rear-view mirror again to see Harold taking an enormous box of donuts out of his trunk. I point to Phyllis’s door. “Now go talk to this poor man who came all this way just to bring you donuts.”

“Fine.” She lifts her chin as she steps out of the car.

I jump out and say, “Hey, Mr. Harold, good to see you,” before rushing into the house to give them some privacy. When I walk inside, the place has quieted. Asher’s asleep in BabyBjörn again and Henna is eating Cheerios at the kitchen table.

“What are you doing back?” Jay’s face drops.

“I couldn’t leave.” I wring my hands. “Not with how things were.”

Henna comes running up to me. “Sorry I didn’t say goodbye.” Her lips tremble.

“It’s okay. You were very sad. And I want you to know that I love you, sweetie. So much.” I kneel to meet her eyes. “I know I’m not your mommy. And I never want you to think I’m taking her place. I’m just here to love you and take care of you, just as Aunt Cassie, okay?”

She nods a big nod. “Okay, Aunt Cassie.”

Jay touches my shoulder. “But what about your symposium?”

I put an arm around Henna and give her a squeeze. “It’s just work. But you guys are my family.”

“We are a family.” Jay smiles.

That afternoon, Tiffany comes back to get Asher, and thankfully, Caleb’s bean came out without complications. We finally have our ceremony for Theodore, and after, Henna goes to Jay’s parents’ house for the night so she can watch the Disney channel with Nana. I’ve rescheduled my flight for the same one tomorrow morning. I’m only going to miss the opening mixer of the conference.

Before I head off to shower, Jay tells me dinner is on him. So, when I clean up and return to the kitchen, I expect to find him cooking. He’s not, and I fold my arms. “What? I don’t get to experience your fine cuisine?”

He rubs his hands together. “So, I wasn’t the culinary genius I’d thought I was.”

I chuckle. “Shocking.”

He flashes a proud smile. “I have something to show you in the backyard first. I made it.”

“You’re making a lot of things these days.”

“I am. And you know what? I missed it.” He waves a hand. “Come with me. I was saving this for when you got back, but you’re still here. I want to do it now.”

“Wow, okay.” His words pique my curiosity.

We head through the backyard and walk up the trail to our lookout spot. Sitting there are two freshly handmade teak chairs—and they’re gorgeous.

I gasp. “Amazing!” I run my hand over one, and it’s so smooth.

“I’ve been practicing.” His face is beaming when he ushers me over. “Have a seat.”

After sitting, I say, “And they’re really comfortable, too.”

He sits and wiggles his butt around in his chair. “They are, if I dare say. And guess what? My parents want a set. And so do the Harrisons and the Johnsons up the road.”

“That’s fantastic!” I flash him a wide-eyed look. “So, what does this mean?” I think about the new Palatial Pet Hospital that has yet to be built.

“Dr. Reddy is retiring,” he says.

Dr. Reddy runs the only vet clinic in Danesworth, which is right downtown. It’s a great location, but it’s old and outdated. “Really?”

“Yeah. He asked me if I wanted to take over his practice.”

“That’s big news. What do you think?”

He smiles. “I think I might want to do it.”

I blink. “But what about being the veterinarian of the stars?”

“That’s losing its appeal. I kept putting off construction of the building, and I didn’t get why. Yesterday, when I offered to delay the construction for the chipmunks, I was relieved. Then it hit me—I want to be the vet for all the people of Danesworth.”

“I’m glad. And I’m sure the rest of the town will be too, Jay.” I gaze at him, realizing that he really has become his old self. “But Dr. Reddy’s clinic is a bit rundown.”

“About that.” His smile grows. “I’d like to be the one redoing the place. I’ll make the seats and counters out of wood—give it a rustic look.”

“I think that’s a fantastic idea.”

“I love woodworking. And I love helping animals—especially the pets of the people I care about. And I care about the folks of Danesworth.”

“Me too.” I touch his shoulder. “And now, you’ll get to do two things you love.”

“Yup. There’s just one thing left.” He smiles, reaching around and grabbing a bottle of wine and two pizza boxes from Cheesie Pie.

I open the lid of the top box to see that it’s topped with artichoke hearts, goat cheese, and balsamic glaze. “You remembered!” I clap my hands.

“I thought we needed to celebrate our lookout spot here, at home.” He meets my gaze, his eyes twinkling. “Our home.”

“Our home.” My heart floats in my chest.

I gaze into the sky, and it almost looks otherworldly with the rose-colored clouds moving in. The vineyards are now a deep green, speckled with dots of purple. The scent of budding grapes fills the crisp air.

Jay grabs binoculars and looks through them. Then he hands them to me and says, “Check it out,” while pointing to the river.

I take the binoculars and follow his finger. After getting them in focus, I see Floyd building a dam in the river, and I know it’s him because of that patch of white fur on the top of his head. He’s got a few other beavers with him, and I grin. “Hi, baby!” I wave with my free hand. “Good job, we’re so proud of you.” I shift my gaze to Jay. “He’s made friends!”

“He has.” Jay flashes a proud smile. “I just named them Boyd and Lloyd.”

“Nice to meet you, Boyd and Lloyd,” I call out as I wave.

We watch on for a while as Floyd heads up the pack, working circles around Boyd and Lloyd. Floyd’s just such a good little beaver.

“This is perfect.” Jay leans back. “Everything. Just how it is.”

“It is pretty perfect, isn’t it?”

He hesitates, like he wants to tell me something but is struggling. Finally, he says, “I really don’t need anything else in my life. I don’t have to have more children. I mean, if the person I end up with doesn’t want to—or can’t—have any.”

My heart thumps wildly in my chest. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because. You’re terrified of babies. So, you should know that I could be happy without children. Henna is more than enough for me. I could also want more, but I’d be happy either way.”

My pulse skyrockets. “And why do you want me to know that?”

He looks down, tapping his fingers together. “Yeah. About that. There’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Is that so?” I ask, my knees jittery.

“Only since about seventh grade.” The corners of his mouth quirk up.

“So, not long.”

“A wee blip of time.” He meets my gaze, his eyes crackling with joy. “I don’t want to date anyone but you.”

“That makes me so happy.” My heart is bursting, but I flash a teasing smile. “Because honestly, your dates were a real pain in my butt.”

He laughs and I join him, but then our smiles fall away. He leans in, slowly, inching closer in the most agonizing way. “I love that you love every creature, big or small. I love that you’re always just you, no pretenses. I love that you surprise me, in a good way, every day.” He hovers his lips over mine, whispering, “It’s always been you. I think you might be my forever fire, Cassandra Moore.”

My body trembles when I say, “I think you might be mine too, Jason Carter.” I bring my lips to his, electricity shooting through me at his soft touch.

We fall into a blissful haze, his hand sliding under my shirt to touch the curve of my back. I shudder.

Taking a breath, I pull away and mutter, “What’s this?”

“Something I’ve wanted for fifteen years,” he whispers, breathless. He moves his kisses down my neck in a way that makes every part of my body react. Yes, I’m still a bit nervous about getting involved with Jay because of Henna. But I can’t live in fear, and what Jay and I have is too amazing not to see where things go. We’ve known and cared for each other for so long, and it only keeps growing. Nothing has ever felt like this.

We close the space between us, no words. The chirping of the evening creatures is the only sound as we take in how amazing it is to hold each other. I realize that this should all feel weird, but it doesn’t.

It doesn’t because it’s Jay.

EPILOGUE

I’VE BEEN GONE a week, and it feels like a lifetime. The symposium was fantastic, but I hated being away. I can’t believe that just a few months ago, I wondered how I was going to fit Jay and Henna into my life.

Now I can’t imagine my life without them in it.

After a red-eye flight, I’m meeting Henna and Jay at the airport even though it’s early morning. When I make it out of the security gate, Henna rushes up to me and pulls me into the best hug of my entire life. One that I never want to end. “I missed you so much, Henna.”

“I love you, Aunt Cassie,” she says.

Hearing those words from her lodges a lump in my throat. “I love you too, sweetie. So much.”

I look over at Jay to see his eyes sparkling. “Welcome home, Cass.”

“Thanks.” My smile grows.

“We have a surprise for you!” Henna yells, jumping up and down.

“Henna, you weren’t supposed to say anything yet,” Jay says, but his tone is light.

“Oops!” She puts her hands over her mouth.

I can’t think of what the surprise could be.

The three of us get in Jay’s Jeep—which he got after trading in his impractical Porsche—and head home.

Hopping out of the car, I realize spring sprung while I was away. Dogwoods are in bloom, their trees speckled in whites and pinks. The sweet citrus smell of magnolias fills the air.

When Jay ushers Henna and me to the backyard, I can’t believe my own eyes.

“Surprise!” Henna cries out, jumping up and down.

There’s a building the size of a large shed, all framed out. Phyllis and Harold are here, hammering and sawing.

“What is happening?” I put a hand over my mouth.

“Uncle Jay, Ms. Phyllis, and Mr. Harold are making you a house for your animals.” Henna grins ear-to-ear.

I look at Jay. “What? How?”

“I have a debt to this great clinic, Born Wild. Heard of it? And since I have a few woodworking skills now, I thought I’d build the founder a place where she can take care of all the animals she needs to bring home.” He glimpses at me before returning his eyes to the structure. “And I was able to assemble a team of volunteers. Well, Phyllis. And, for some reason, Mr. Harold from the bakery.” Jay leans in. “I think he’s got a thing for Phyllis.”

“I think you might be right about that.” It’s all so overwhelming, and my eyes mist. “This is beyond amazing.”

“I know it’s not much.” He points to the structure. “But there’s a terrarium for the birds outside. Inside, there’s a room for the warming boxes and bedroom for you. I’m putting in a Murphy Bed and a small bathroom.” He points his finger along the ground. “Look, I even ran a power, water, and sewer to it. I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

“Do more?” I take in his handiwork. The cathedral ceilings. The mesh walls. The future enclosed room, which looks plenty big. Jay even has a heating and air conditioning unit that’s waiting to be installed. I shake my head. “Where did you learn all this?”

“I cheated and got a plumber. For the rest, I watched a few YouTube videos.” He shrugs. “I had to learn how to run in the electrical wiring. I also had to develop a configuration that works for indoor and outdoor animals, and well…you.”

I can’t believe all his efforts. “You’re a pretty awesome human, Jay.”

“It’s the least I could do.” He shrugs.

I put a finger to my chin. “True.”

As Harold brings in trees and shrubbery to plant for the bird enclosure, Phyllis takes a break from hammering in the mesh walls. Approaching us, she says, “Welcome home, Cass! And Jay, where should we leave the rest of the lumber?”

He points to our covered patio. “How about there since it’s supposed to rain tomorrow?”

“Got it, boss.”

Wow, those two mended fences.

“Phyllis, you knew about this?” I fling a hand on my hip. “And didn’t tell me?”

“Yeah and it was really hard!” She snorts. “Remember when I made that comment about getting wood, then I turned it into a dirty joke?”

I laugh. “Yes.”

“That was me almost spilling the beans.” She turns and rushes away to help Harold, who’s struggling with a tree.

I look at Jay, rubbing my hands together. “Well, give me an assignment. I’m definitely ready to get busy.”

We have Henna’s grandparents come and pick her up—the place is one big hazard zone with saws, nails, and staple guns. Then we spend the rest of the afternoon working with Phyllis and Harold. This should be difficult after a long trip and a red-eye flight, but it isn’t. There’s nothing better than putting in a hard day with good people, especially if it means a home for the animals.

My phone pings and I check it to see a message. Then, I look at Jay working beside me and say, “So, I texted Tiffany to make sure Caleb was doing well. He’s fine, by the way. But Tiffany also mentioned that it’s been eons since she and John got to go on a date.” I hesitate, blowing out a whoosh of air. “I told her I could watch the boys for her one night.”

“Really?” Jay’s eyes flicker with joy. “I mean, that’d be great…as long as it’s okay with you.”

“I think it is. I want to give it another try.” Glancing down at the phone, I smile. “And she’s asking about this Friday.”

“Sure. But if it becomes too much, I’m here.”

“I know you are.” My voice is above a whisper when I add, “Always.” I flash him an adoring smile. “I missed you.”

He comes in and gives me a kiss, featherlight in touch but vast in meaning. “I missed you too. Something terrible.”

I take him into a hug, aching to be in his arms, touching his skin, and breathing his scent. Jay fills a missing space inside me—one that’s been there so long I didn’t know what life was like without it.

After a moment of basking in his closeness, I pull away and meet his gaze. “Thank you again. And not just for the animal home. For being you.”

“Wow, I don’t know what to say to that.” His voice crackles with emotion. “I’ve admired you so long, I never thought about it going the other way.”

I rub a finger across his cheek. “Well, it does. And maybe you were right. We aren’t so different.”

“Maybe not now.” The corner of his mouth lifts. “You bring out the best version of me. Jay 2.0, a massive upgrade.”

I chuckle. My hands move to take his. I hold them as our gazes drift to the panoramic view we’re lucky enough to enjoy each day—together. And just like I know the sun will fall each evening behind those rolling hills, I know that this is the place I’m supposed to be. Maybe forever.

It wasn’t just the animals who needed rescuing, after all.

THE END

BOOK ONE SNEAK PEEK:

~FINDING YESTERDAY~

I SLAM THE wine cellar door, and my veil snags, ripping the delicate fabric.

Great.

Running a finger over the tear, I groan, frustrated. But this is the least of my worries. I’m supposed to walk down the aisle—I check my phone—in sixteen minutes.

Sixteen minutes!

No one will find me in the wine cellar. Yes, I told my family I needed air, and it’s dark and musty in here, but in a good way, like Daddy’s best-selling Malbec. Plus, the icy floor feels good on my clammy bare feet. I abandoned my heels during my run down the gnarly steps to get here.

Oh, the irony. Today is a perfect day for a wedding. Outside is a cloudless sky and the Georgia Blues are in bloom, speckling the evergreen grounds with cool tints of lavender and indigo. The mountains are a stunning backdrop against the rolling vineyards in the distance.

Old Vine, my tiny hometown in the sticks of North Georgia, is breathtaking in the spring.

So, what’s my problem? My fiancé, Hudson, is so understanding, letting us get married here. He’s more of a Ritz-Carlton kind of guy, but here we are, about to get hitched in a perfectly good barn.

Hitched. The word knocks my breath away. I fan my hands at my face, hoping that will help me inhale. It doesn’t.

This is just the cold feet everyone talks about. It has to be. Right?

It’s a weird thought since my bare feet are actually cold right now. My dress swishes around my legs as I pace the small room.

“Claire!” my sister, Emma, yells from the other side of the door.

Crap, crap, crap.

Emma is going to kill me. She’s always telling me I’m too indecisive. Being a runaway bride is the epitome of indecisiveness.

She knocks before saying, “I know you’re in there. I found your shoes on the steps. What’s going on?”

I unhook the halter clasp of my wedding dress to free my neck. “I’m just getting some wine to calm my nerves. Be out in a minute.”

There’s a beat of silence before she replies, “Are you getting drunk?”

And this is exactly why I can’t talk to her, little Ms. Perfect. I’ve heard that many sisters sense each other’s thoughts and pain, but that’s not Emma and me. It’s the same with my brother, Nate. He’s pretty much the male version of her.

“Emma, no.” I let out a laugh that’s more of a squawk. “I’m just having a tiny sip.”

“Okay, but the photographer needs your help getting the bridesmaids lined up for the pictures. Our dresses are too poufy for us to stand close together.”

Hudson did have a few little catches with us getting married in Old Vine. One was that he had me pick fluffy, apricot-colored bridesmaid dresses to match the fluffy apricot-colored logo of Tangz.

Tangz, the vegetarian restaurant Hudson and I run in Atlanta. We’re known for our sweet potato ravioli.

I wasn’t thrilled about a work-themed wedding, but since our photos will be featured in Atlanta Wedding Magazine, we agreed we should take advantage of the free publicity. Unfortunately, the bridesmaids are now walking marigolds.

“I’ll be up in a minute, I promise.” My own words kick up my pulse, and I rub my neck.

Emma groans. “Fine, I’ll leave your heels by the door. You need to get in place with Daddy. The ceremony starts in thirteen minutes.”

Thirteen minutes!

“Okay, thank you.” I bite my fist to stave off a scream. After the patter of her footsteps fades, I look at the crumpled piece of paper that caused me to head to the depths of the earth instead of down the aisle.

“The Golden Cow!” I pat the sweat beading on my makeup, but when I dab my eyes, a fuzzy strip falls on my finger.

There goes one of my “forever-stay” extended eyelashes.

For our honeymoon in the Virgin Islands, Hudson and I booked the penthouse suite of a villa with its own private lagoon.

So much for that.

I throw Hudson’s confirmation for our stay at the Golden Cow Casino on the floor. Gritting my teeth, I stare at it, a ball of white against the hickory hardwoods, darkened with age.

I really don’t get it. Hudson does this kind of thing all the time, and I’ve never cared before.

So, why am I losing it now?

I walk to the shelves and grab a bottle of wine that has a vulnerable-looking neck before hitting the lip against the brick wall.

Screw my sister, I need a drink.

Except the bottle won’t break, and if I hit it any harder, the whole thing might burst. Then I’d really have something to panic about.

When the room blurs, I sit on a crate of Daddy’s wines, and my satin dress catches on a piece of splintered wood.

I’m pretty sure this is the moment in the movies when the mother walks in, talks sense into her daughter, and the rest of the wedding goes off without a hitch.

Biting my lip, I pull up my dress to reveal the garter Mama wore on her wedding day. I stroke my fingers over the lacing, which has started to fray. It’s my something old and something borrowed, although technically, you can’t borrow something from someone who’s dead.

Most of my memories of Mama are of the two of us in the kitchen. I couldn’t reach the countertop by myself, but she had a step stool so I could pour the ingredients into the mixing bowls.

Every time I cook, I’m transported back to those moments. She’s standing right next to me, showing me how to knead dough or sprinkle in spices. Sometimes, she’s holding her hands over mine, guiding me as we whisk batter.

I didn’t learn a lot from Mama—I was too young—but I’ll never forget how being with her in the kitchen made me feel.

I’d do anything for that feeling right now. If I could have just one more of those moments with her, I’d tell her how much I love her and get her motherly advice.

And, of course, I’d ask her how she died.

# # #

“UM, HELLO?” A familiar voice echoes outside the door, but it’s definitely not Hudson or any of my family. It’s baritone and rich, and I realize it must be our caterer, Jack Brady.

I hold my breath and stop moving.

“I know you’re in there,” he continues. “This door wasn’t locked before. I’m catering, and I need more wine to serve the wedding guests.”

The wedding guests. Which, thanks to Hudson, are more restaurant investors and foodies than family and friends.

I stay silent, frozen.

“People are starting to foam at the mouth. We’re completely out of red and white,” Jack continues, his tone turning urgent. “They’re going to eat me alive, literally and in reviews if you don’t let me get more wine.”

That’s a bit dramatic, although I know Jack’s worked very hard earning his reputation. He won Grade A Chef before opening his popular chophouse on the wharf in San Francisco. Now, he just opened another steakhouse here in Old Vine with his grandfather, which I’m sure will turn into the hot spot of North Georgia.

That’s why Hudson and I hired Jack to cater our wedding. We don’t eat meat, but we wanted our southern foodie guests to enjoy their steak, barbecue, and buttermilk fried chicken.

“Okay, I’m just going to knock down this door,” he says, his voice firm. “I’m not kidding. I’ve been working out. Please step back.”

I flip the lock on the door and swing it open. “Quick, get in here.”

Jack rushes inside, and I slam the door behind him. “Shhh, don’t tell anyone I’m in here.”

“Um…” he trails off, his eyes huge. “I think people might wonder where the bride is.”

I stare at him. I haven’t seen him in person since we were both seven years old. Hiring him to cater, I’d only spoken to him on the phone. “You’re much taller than I imagined.”

And much more attractive too.

“Uh, thanks?” His eyes crinkle at the corners, but the hint of a smile falls away. “Claire…” The way he says my name is soft, kind. It warms my heart and makes me cringe at the same time—I must seem pathetic right now. “I can’t say I know a lot about pre-wedding jitters, but,”—he lets the smile break through—“you’ll be happy to know, my catering business is full service. So, what can I get you? A proper chair, water, an antihistamine?”

“An antihistamine?”

“You have a red splotchy thing going on”—he motions his hand around his neck, grimacing—“all around here.”

“Yeah.” I wave him away. “I get hive-ish when I’m stressed. It’ll go away.”

“Anything else, then? A helicopter? A rainbow? I’m not kidding, whatever you need.”

I study his face, realizing he has the same kind eyes and gentle smile he had as a boy before our lives got turned upside down. I know he probably feels obligated to make me feel better, but it’s still sweet. I open my mouth to say, “thank you,” but when I look at Jack, he’s glancing from me to the door, the color draining from his face.

I furrow my brows, and my caked-on foundation cracks around my eyes. “I might be splotchy, but you’ve gone ghost-ish.”

He inhales sharply. “I’ve got an issue with enclosed spaces, but it’s fine.” He exhales. “The door stays shut. The bride’s welfare is way more important than the caterer’s.”

What a fine pair we are. I manage a weak smile. “Thank you, but you should get your wine and go. I don’t want you to be eaten alive, online or otherwise.”

“Can I get someone for you?”

I slump, thinking. I couldn’t tell Emma, and Nate’s setting up to play the guitar for my wedding march, not that I’d tell him anyway. I definitely can’t tell Daddy, who paid an obscene amount for this wedding. And my bridesmaids are all involved with Tangz in some way or another. “I don’t think so.”

“Maybe you could talk to me? I mean, given the circumstances. Try me on for size.” Jack pinches the bridge of his nose. “That didn’t come out right.”

That didn’t sound bad to me, but he seems so embarrassed, I can’t help but smile. I almost laugh, but then it falls away. “Ugh, I can’t stand the thought of being the talk of the town. Again.”

Jack stares into nothing, as if weighing his words. “I understand.”

I nod and neither of us says anything.

We don’t have to. That’s the thing about the past—it’s always there. Even though we’ve lived different lives in different states, Old Vine’s unsolved tragedy of a generation—the accident that killed my mother and his grandmother—binds us together forever.

I wonder what’s happened to him all these years—how he’s coped. Does that day haunt him like it does me?

Jack takes the wine bottle from my hands, his eyes bulging when he glances at the label. Then he pulls an opener out of his vest pocket.

I’m not sure if I should tell Jack all my personal business, but honestly, I have no one else to talk to. I rub my neck again. “Okay, here it goes. Hudson wants to play dung bingo on our honeymoon.”

“And…let me guess—you hate dung bingo?” He twists the opener and uncorks the wine. “Whatever that is?”

“It’s not about the bingo.” I pick at a piece of polish on my nail, and the whole thing chips off. “It’s about the lagoon.”

He hands me back the bottle, uncorked. “Sorry, I don’t have a glass with me.”

“That’s okay. Thank you.” I take a big swig, and I close my eyes. “Man, this is smooth.”

“Yeah, it is. It’ll be even more amazing after it’s had some time to breathe.” He sits on the crate kitty-corner from mine and fans me with his hand. “Your makeup’s kind of melting.”

I don’t even want to know how bad I look, and I burst into a laugh. Jack chuckles with me, and it feels good—sharing the ridiculousness of the moment. It’s a tiny reprieve from the muddle in my head.

He stops fanning me. “So, you…hate lagoons?”

“You’re a super cool human, Jack. But I can’t keep you here. I know you have stuff to do, wine zombies to fuel.”

“I’ve got time,” he says, and reaches a hand to steady my jackhammering leg. “I’m here for you as long as you need me.”

I haven’t heard those words from anyone in a long time, especially not Hudson, and the gesture makes my eyes mist. But I blink them clear as I pick up and stretch out the crumpled paper. “Hudson slid this under the door of my bridal room.” I clear my throat and read it aloud. “I just got the call, Claire! We finally landed an interview with the casino owner who grows coffee beans in Santa Barbara. We have to do it now, it’s our one shot to swing a deal. Imagine: Tangz, the only restaurant offering coffee made exclusively from US grown beans. We can’t pass this up.”

Jack raises his brows. “That does sound kinda cool, actually.”

“It does. And Hudson continues, saying we can get a refund on our airfare to the Virgin Islands.” Tears well in my eyes when I say, “I want to support Tangz, even if it means having my honeymoon meals at the Golden Pasture Endless Buffet. The problem is that I think Hudson is happier going to a work meeting than a private lagoon with me.”

Jack frowns. “Can you just tell him how his note made you feel? And that the dung bingo and pasture grazing can wait?”

“No.”

“Okay.” He goes quiet, apparently waiting for me to continue. When I don’t, he asks, “Why can’t you tell him that?”

“I could tell him that.” A tear escapes and I wipe it away before it rolls down my cheek. “But that won’t fix things. I mean, it might fix the honeymoon, but not everything else.”

“And what’s ‘everything else’?” His deep voice is soothing, and it hits me that I don’t mind having him ask these questions. It’s actually kind of helping.

“It’s just…” I wave my hand, hoping to conjure a response out of thin air. “Work is everything to Hudson. It is to me too. But we said our honeymoon would be just us…relaxing on a romantic getaway.” I put up a palm. “Because we need a break from work. Hudson’s gotten so passive aggressive and intense. One time I forget to put the nutmeg garnish on a sweet potato ravioli. Now, whenever I make the dish, which is all the time, Hudson checks it and says, ‘“Phew, it’s garnished. We never know with you!”’ Then he points and laughs, like it’s some inside joke. But it isn’t a joke. Let it go already. It was one time when we were swamped.”

“Wow.” Jack’s eyes go huge. “That is passive-aggressive and intense.”

“Right?” I throw my arms in the air before pointing at Jack. “And you’re an expert in the kitchen, so your opinion here counts extra!” When my voice echoes off the brick walls, I realize I’ve gotten loud.

“Well, then.” He folds his arms. “In my expert culinary opinion, that’s over the top.”

I laugh, but it’s short-lived. When I catch my breath, I croak out, “I know Hudson loves me, but I’m not sure he’s in love with me.” My heart starts to race again, and my breaths turn shallow.

Jack leans over and puts his hand on my knee. “Hey, it’s okay. Just take deep breaths, in and out.”

I close my eyes and take two long inhales and exhales. I’ve talked my sister through panic attacks, but I’ve never had one myself. Is that what this is?

I have a new appreciation for Emma.

After my pulse steadies, I say, “Thank you, that helped.”

“So, you don’t think your fiancé is in love with you?” Jack shakes his head and lets out a low whistle.

Hearing the words repeated back hits me like a truth bomb. Hudson isn’t in love with me.

Jack continues, “And are you in love with him?”

I blink, hesitating. No one has ever asked me that before, and I’m not sure how I feel. “I used to think so.”

Hudson and I have been together since our senior year of college. Both history majors, we struggled to find jobs after graduation. History isn’t exactly known for its booming career options. Together, we literally turned that lemon into freshly squeezed lemonade, a favorite at Tangz. We’ve been working so hard on the restaurant that maybe we neglected working on us.

I peel off a corner of the wine label. “We were so young when we got together, and it feels like Hudson’s doing what he thinks he’s supposed to do—take the next step with his college sweetheart and business partner—instead of doing what his heart wants.”

Jack looks down at his hands for a few beats then back at me. “And what is it that your heart wants, Claire?”

My gaze flicks to him. This is now the second time Jack has asked me something no one else ever has. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s this.” My voice breaks with tears. “Does that make me a bad person, Jack? Am I wrong?”

“Wrong for wanting to know that you’re loved, fully and completely? Never.”

I take another swig from the bottle, contemplating his words.

“And that’s definitely a reason to have a solid, sit-down talk before you get married.” His tone is firm, definitive.

I look up at him. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. You need to tell him how you feel. I bet he’ll put your concerns to rest. And you owe him that.”

“I do owe him that.”

“But you should put your foot down about the dung bingo!” Now it’s his voice that echoes off the walls.

I smile. “That’s what I thought, but then I wondered if it was maybe just me. I’ve never been on a honeymoon before.”

“Right. Well, me neither.” Jack scrubs his sparse goatee. “But I think you kinda gotta talk to Hudson soon. Like soon soon.”

I grab Jack’s wrist and check his watch. “Oh no, I’m supposed to be heading down the aisle right now. Like, this second!”

“It’s okay.” Jack looks at the door. “I can go out and announce a delay. I’ll make something up. It’s not the end of the world if the wedding starts five minutes late.”

“Thank you.” I shake my head. “But how do I do this to him? Now?”

After a pause, Jack says, “If you were on a sinking boat, and the raft was a long, scary jump down, what would you do?”

“I’d close my eyes, hold my breath, and jump.”

“So, do that.”

I shake my head. “But in that example, my life depends on it.”

“Your life kinda depends on this too.” He raises his brow. “Don’t you think?”

Wow. When he puts it like that, my decision is clear. Hudson and I have to have a heart-to-heart talk. Right now.

I take another swig of wine before setting down the bottle. Then I extend my hands for Jack to take and pull me up.

Which he does in one smooth, swift motion. When I meet his gaze, his warm, brown eyes comfort me. “Thank you. Again.” I manage a smile. I’m so grateful it was Jack who came to the cellar.

He returns the smile. “Hey, you’re paying me. It’s the least I could do.”

“Well, Daddy’s paying, but yeah, it’s a lot.” I flash him a wink using the eye with the extended lash. “I think you earned it.”

Then I blow out a long breath as I approach the door. I’m closing my eyes, holding my breath, and jumping…at least, metaphorically.

When I open the door, Hudson is standing there, and I jump, literally. “Hudson, I was just coming to talk—”

“What in the world is going on?” He gives Jack the side-eye and scowls before tapping his watch. “We can’t be late, the minister is one of our investors.”

After Jack grabs his box of wine and disappears, I put a hand on my hip and say, “Remember this is supposed to be our day, not a PR event for Tangz?”

“But this is what we both said we wanted.”

“I know,” I mumble. “But we also both said we wanted a romantic getaway to the Virgin Islands. To spend time together, just us.”

He cocks his head. “Aww, Claire, this meeting’s a huge opportunity. It’s not like we were going to spend all day in a penthouse suite anyway.”

I go wide-eyed. “But that’s just it. It’s our honeymoon. I wanted that. I thought you did too.” I shake my head and my hair-sprayed frozen hair doesn’t budge. “Hudson, are you in love with me?”

“What? What kind of question is that to ask me on our wedding day? You know how important you are to me. I love how we work together at Tangz. I love that you believe in me. I love—”

“But are you in love with me?”

Hudson hesitates. It’s only for a second, a fleeting look that says everything, but it’s enough. I didn’t think my heart could sink any lower, but it does.

He continues, “Stop this. I’ll always be here for you, you know that.”

“I do know that.” I manage a weak smile. “But don’t you want moonlight walks along the beach? Adoring gazes from across a crowded room? Stolen kisses?” Again, I think back. When did all that stop? Was any of it even there in the first place?

“That’s not real life.” He rolls his eyes. “You’re just a dreamer.”

“Maybe.” The last thing I need is a mate who makes me feel alone when we’re together. I muster my firmest voice when I say, “But I want the dream.”

He blinks, looking away before returning his gaze. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Say you want the dream too.”

He whooshes out a breath. “I can’t say something that’s not true.”

Wow. I squeeze my eyes shut as the rest of my life flashes before my eyes. It’s the strangest thing—I see myself getting married, having kids, growing old—and Hudson’s not there, not in any of it. It’s dawning on me that he never was, and I wasn’t able to admit it to myself. Not until just now.

I don’t know how to verbalize this, so I say the only words I can. “Then we want different things.” I swallow hard. “I can’t marry you, Hudson. I’m so sorry.”

The look on Hudson’s face is more frustration than sadness. And he doesn’t even try to talk me out of it or tell me that yes, he does love me fully and completely. He just stands there, red-faced, staring at his toes. I wait patiently for him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t.

I turn and rush up the stairs. I can’t take another second of wanting something from Hudson that he can never give.

~ WANT MORE? CHECK MY WEBSITE FOR FINDING YESTERDAY’S RELEASE DATE!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

TERRA WEISS

Writer. Coffee addict. Inactive activewear wearer.

Former Director of Awards, Georgia Romance Writers

Terra Weiss has won numerous manuscript awards and is a two-time NYCM Short Story contest finalist. Her work has recently been published in an TL;DR Press anthology and The Daily Drunk.

When Terra’s not writing, you'll find her with her spunky nine-year-old daughter, mad scientist husband, wacky mother, and the two six-pound dogs that run her house. Her hobbies include jogging at a snail's pace and reading from her iPhone.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

In the tiny town of Shelley, Idaho, my grandparents owned a potato farm…and a bar. I was only four when I first ventured inside the kid-friendly pub, as it was the “Cheers” of our tiny town. I don’t remember singing along with the jukebox and becoming a crowd favorite, as rumored, but I’ll never forget how the place made me feel. Everyone there was a part of one big family—where people not only knew your name, but all your business too.

Those early, impressionable days became a part of my being, and something I definitely miss living in big cities, which I’ve done all of my adult life. Phoenix, San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and even Madrid. Now, I live in Atlanta, so bringing an imaginary small town to life in the charming state of Georgia brings me to the place where my heart lives.

The biggest thank yous go to the reasons I get up every morning—my husband, Dave, and my daughter, Alexa. I love you both to the moon and beyond. To Dave, my best friend, my biggest supporter, and my rock, thank you for everything. Always. To Alexa, I couldn’t be more proud of you, not just for all the gifts you have, but for your tenacity and kind-hearted soul. I lucked out getting the best kid in the universe. All my love and thanks to my writing and brainstorming partner, my biggest fan, and my example—my wingmom, Elaina. I love you, Mom. You’re the best mother anyone could ever have.

Many thank yous to Dad, Craig, who has always made sure I had everything I needed—love, encouragement, support, and more allowance than I ever earned. Thank you for setting an example and making sure I grew up happy and so truly loved. To Terry Ann, my step-mother who supported me through those tough teenage years and showed me how to fall in love with books. And a big thanks goes to my mother in law, Philippa Strum, who’s encouragement, editing, and example made me believe this was possible. Thank you to my in-laws, Herbert and Sevana, who read my earliest works when they were not a joy to read. An ocean of thanks to my sisters, Christina and Paris, who have supported me every step since my very first one. A thanks with a cherry on top to Christina, who has powered through my books and encouraged me.

Endless thanks to the people who are, officially, my critique partners. Unofficially, they are my inspirations, my personal therapists, my cheerleaders, and my good friends.

To the Sassy Scribblers. Deena Short, Shelby Van Pelt, Jill Cobb, Brenda Lowder, and Jenny Ling. Deena, the master of conflict and characterization, is a real-life superhero. Her powers include, but are not limited to, taking books to the next level and reading through countless pages, more times than anyone should. She also keeps me on track and answers my constant barrage of emails, with pep. Shelby, who I call Merlin the Writing Magician, puts life into my books and fun into my life. I’m beyond thrilled that the world will get to enjoy her magic now too. She’s one of the biggest influences on the writer I am today, and an inspiration for the writer I hope to become. She provides continuous support—day or night. Unfortunately for her, I utilize this. Shelby, thank you for being my friend. Jill, who makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has with her writing, is always there for an honest critique, any question—writing related or not—and sage advice. I can only hope that someday I’ll be as funny and talented as she is. To Brenda, who I follow like a duckling, hoping to imprint her talent and wild success and talent onto myself. (Hey, it’s worth a try.) Thank you for being such an inspiration and showing me how successful self-publishing can be. To Jenny, who shows me that it’s possible to break every writing rule there is and still knock it out of the park. A true gift. And a big thanks to her constant support and plotting sessions, which I so desperately need. (Always).

To Tory Bunce, the wisest and kindest soul, who’s my brilliant partner in crime. Tory, you are like family to me, and it’s hard for me to imagine the days when I didn’t know you. You always say what I’m thinking before I do, a level of understanding of me that makes me feel I’ve known you my whole life and beyond. May we take over the world some day (which we will, together I’m sure!), preferably not in our volunteering t-shirts.

To Grace Wynter, who believed in me before I believed in myself. She shares her countless gifts with me, which has made me a better writer, a better marketer, and a better human. She’s that person that teaches me something new—about writing, self-publishing, the world, beyond the world—every time I interact with her. Grace, thank you for caring so much about me that you have those hard conversations with me. You’ve opened my eyes to experiences beyond my own. And I know with all my heart you will get precisely the success you deserve: all of it.

To Katina Ferguson, who, from day one, taught me how to be a writer and set an example of how to be a good person and a better friend. She’s a rare gem who’s book smart and street smart. She’s a natural-born leader, something I’ll never be, but she always inspires me. She also makes me pick up the phone and actually talk to someone instead of texting. Katina, thank you for being there when I need it most, and talking to me for hours at a time. I always treasure our meaningful, honest, and heartfelt conversations, probably more than you’ll ever know.

To Eliza Peake, for always being there with a listening ear, a huge heart, and the answers to my endless questions. She knows everything self-publishing, and I don’t know where I’d be without her help managing this quagmire of a thing that is Indie publishing. Eliza, I’m so truly glad we’re friends, you were certainly the best thing to come from that wild ride of a contest we ran together. You made it all worth it.

To Deb Lacativa, the talented writer and friend who’s never afraid to give me the kick in the pants when I need it. She’s an inspiration. Deb, thank you for sharing all your wisdom—about books, life, and otherwise.

I don’t know what I’d do without each and every one of you. I can only raise a glass, preferably filled with alcohol, to toast the luck of having such amazing people as my people.

To Curt Shannon, who’s been pivotal in my growth as an author, especially with male characters, who, at times, weren’t very male-like. And thanks to many of the members of Atlanta Writes who are good critique partners and folks to share a coffee or drink with. To DeShawn Raines, Micheal Bernhart, Evan Tyler, Jyll Thomas, Jake Miller, and the rest of the AW crew.

To those amazing authors who help, support, and inspire me—Mel Todd, Roger Johns, and Kay Heath.

To my beta readers, especially who had those early versions (bless your hearts). I can only be eternally grateful. John Carlisle, Linda Clompton, and Adrianna de la Torriente.

A gigantic thank you to my wonderful and amazing editors, The Happily Editing Anns and Reina from Rickrack Books.